Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 45

INFATUATION, A wasting disease easily cured -- by marriage

— Nikhil Saluja

My First FACEBOOK STATUS in 2013 will be . IS ANYONE ALIVE ???

— Tanya Bianco

She: How do u feel about women's rights? Me: Idk.. I like either side..

— SouL

Ya'll Males Need To Stop Cryin About Fee's On Here.

— Anonymous

If pain is pleasure, ima make you shed tears.

— Syoung

Wonders how many people can go a whole week without going on Facebook?

— Becca

The sweetest sounds to mortals given are heard in Mother, Home, and Heaven.

— William Goldsmith Brown

A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.

— Nikhil Saluja

Let's all pretend we're shocked that a professional football player committed sociopathic violence.

— Anonymous

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

— Anonymous

Pick-Up Line: That blouse looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

— Nikhil Saluja

I just saw a fat girl crying while girls pointed & laughed at her. I thought ,She must be finding it hard…

— Nikhil Saluja

Everything I like is either Illegal, Immoral, Fattening, Addictive, Expensive, or Impossible.

— Asheya

Why am I the weird one for browsing through your pictures? You're the one who uploaded over a thousand pictures of yourself.

— Anonymous

Ramps have been employed to look in the bins along the marathon route in London for suspicious packages. They will be paid…

— Anonymous

The awkward moment when your friends and family are singing happy birthday and you are just standing there smiling …

— Anonymous

Playing a music bring you into another life; I mean your heartbeat

— Anonymous

School is like a boner. It's long and hard, unless you're Asian.

— Anonymous

Lesson 1: Only trust people who like big butts...They can not lie.

— Anonymous

Gucci Mane rap like hes just know getting from a long ass nap

— IG:caonte_2_funny

Have you seen the guy who hides from gay people at Walmart?

— Alec Straub

He is so lazy that if there were work in bed,he would rather sleep on the floor.

— Anonymous

When I want to be alone I log onto MySpace. -Just Saying

— Ephrem Hardin

Naptime at 5 years old: I DONT WANNA!!! Naptime now: Praise the Lord!

— Anonymous

What was the first tweet of twitter? Probably about assholes coming soon.

— Nikhil Saluja

Dear Santa, what I want for Christmas is... your list with names of naughty girls.

— Anonymous

One good thing about Friday is that it's not Monday.

— Matt Pangilinan

A girl will warm your heart. The woman will warm your parts.

— Nikhil Saluja

What's the point of going out? We're just going to wind up back here anyway.

— Nikhil Saluja

I'm sending you some kisses, I know you like them.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don't get how you can have so much money to shop every day, but you dress ugly.

— Kevin

I love it when I buy a bag of air & the company is nice enough to put some chips in.

— Anonymous

That mini heart attack moment when you don't feel your phone in your pocket.

— Anonymous

U see that there on the floor? Thats the taste she done slapped out ur mouth lol

— Brittney

You u need in this world is love...and a little chocolate now and than wont hurt.

— Lula Starr

Never trust a person with only one Facebook picture.

— Anonymous

The 3 biggest lies : I love you. I'm fine. Sorry, that was my last piece of gum.

— Desteni Clay

Woman say:I LIKE YOU, BUT. Woman means:I don't like you.

— Nikhil Saluja

You took my daughters virginity! I'm sorry, sir. It won't happen again.

— Anonymous

That awkard laugh when no sound comes out and your clapping like a retarted seal.

— Anonymous