After cooking dinner tonight, I realized there is no straight way to wash a carrot. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The only thing a woman wants people saying behind her back is nice ass. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I can't listen to the radio. Every love song reminds me of you. It hurts. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I accidentally bumped into my ex today...With my car...at 60mph...on purpose. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everytime someone tweet 'Love is in the air' I usually go & shave my balls. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Dear MTV, I'm gonna start my own TV network called RealityTV; RTV and play nothing but music videos. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when a shower only has 2 options. 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica. — Xuan Ta Copy Share Image
They always say so many people die of Alcohol. Perhaps they never realized many of them were born beacuse of Alcohol!.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh, youre popular on facebook? Thats cool. I mean, these days its easy to have 1,500 friends that youve never met before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm sick of Heather Mills. Now that she's divorced, let her go marry the drummer from Def Leppard. They can rub their… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when someone spells your name wrong on Facebook even though your name is RIGHT THERE! — Ryah Copy Share Image
Somtimes when I'm texting someone & dont feel like repeating myself I just FWD the message & makesure I delete the date,… — Syoung Copy Share Image
KISSING, While, medically, it may not spread infection -- it sure lowers a girl's resistance; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Okay mom...you know I love you...but I can't accept your friend request on Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your Starbucks order is directly proportional to how complicated your personality is. — Kevin Copy Share Image
Marriage paralyzes men from the neck up and women from the waist down. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
WRINKLES: Something other people have, Similar to my character lines. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE, Something which combines the two greatest powers on earth -- war and peace; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The next time a women says all men are dogs, ask her which breed her father is .. — Camille Cassie Govender Copy Share Image
Welcome to 2012: Presidents are black, rappers are white, and asians play basketball. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think I could ever stab someone...I can barely get the straw in the Capri-Sun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me:Im finally happy:)..Life:Oh damn, That can't happen. Let me throw something bad in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Roses are red, violets are blue. God made me beautiful, what the hell happened to you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Gay people are such great dressers because they've spent a lot of time in the closet. — Itsme867 Copy Share Image
