Funny facebook status Quotes · Page 36

Which book you cannot find in a library? Cheque-books.

— Muskaan

Two word's guys hate don't and stop unless you put them together!

— Anonymous

Dnt let the door hit you when mother nature splits you

— Netter

Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone.

— Nikhil Saluja

Facebook + Texting = Textbook. So Im studying right?

— Anonymous

Time flies like an arrow, and fruit flies like a banana.

— Alec Straub

Putting on jeans: Left leg, right leg, wiggle, jump, done! Who else does this? ;]

— Tanya Bianco

When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

— Nikhil Saluja

The awkward moment when your chair makes a farting noise and you can't make the noise again to prove u didn't fart…

— Lol

When a couple is arguing over who loves who more, the one that gives up is the real winner.

— Anonymous

When guys ask you to send a picture of yourself...we're not asking for the one you took with your grandma last night.

— Anonymous

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more fucked up than you think.

— Nikhil Saluja

No matter how good she looks, Some other guy is sick and tired Of putting up with her shit.

— Nikhil Saluja

Oh, you lost your cell phone on vibrate? If you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it.

— Nishan Singh

If u cant change the life change the wife ... ;) life automatically change :P lmao . :) ;)

— Kd

Is wondering exactly what the individual who discovered milk was initially doing with the cow..

— Anonymous

A dentist and a manicurist married. .. . . They fought tooth and nail.

— Nikhil Saluja

If you miss someone just tag their names to remember you! :D

— Mc Vinzed

True love is a wonder that has no end or beginning.

— Nikhil Saluja

I am proud of my heart.It's played,burned and broken.But still works

— Abhishek Tiwari

Hun, You might not wanna stand that close to the heater, Plastic melts.

— Anonymous

Nobody cleans a house faster than a guy expecting pussy...

— Kevin McCarty

Sign on a frozen-food counter: Best meals you ever thaw.

— Nikhil Saluja

Hey I just Met you, Nd You Look Crazy, But Here's A Dollar, Go Feed Your Baby

— Krystal

Facebook delete and block, the modern way of saying, Go f*ck yourself.

— Azgraybebly Joslan

As I was filling up my gas tank I realized I didn't want to eat this week anyways.

— Anonymous

I finally found love! Page 126 in the Dictionary!.. (._.)

— Anonymous

I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.

— Nikhil Saluja

Taking subtle shots at someone on Facebook and acting cool to their face=bitch move

— Brian Zilinek

If what you've done is stupid but it works, then it really isn't that stupid at all

— Hussein Nishah

The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.

— Nikhil Saluja

Third party auditor is a person who always tells that this is not the Right baby.

— Nikhil Saluja

Everything is funnier, when you're not allowed to laugh.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

I hate it when I forget to turn my swag off at night and I wake up covered in b*tches.

— Anonymous

*Follows Dreams* *Wait for few hours* *Dreams dont follow back* *Unfollows dreams*

— Nikhil Saluja

Don't like me? Cool, I don't wake up every day to impress you.

— Anonymous

Some of the best and worst lies Ive ever told are excuses for why Im late.

— Lars Propst

My uncle is in a coma - he's living the dream.

— Nikhil Saluja

The awkward moment, when Usain Bolt runs faster than your internet connection.

— Anonymous

The thirst people have because they want a Valentine.

— Anonymous