You traded in your iPhone 4 for an extra half inch? Hope your girlfriend doesn't do the same. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
Oh, youre popular on facebook? Thats cool. I mean, these days its easy to have 1,500 friends that youve never met before. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling 'Help! Shark! Help!'. I just laughed, I knew that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Spooning For girls: A nice, warm and cozy cuddle. For guys: A dead arm, a face full of hair and a awkward… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Need a friend? Text me. Need a laugh? Call me. Need money?! This number is no longer in service... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You have to admit it when your watching TV and the good part is about to come one and flips to commercial… — Raul Vasquez Copy Share Image
The blonde cowboy put glue on his six-shooters so he would always stick to his guns. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've always wanted to know what it'd be like to play basketball with Edward scissor hands,Freddy Krueger,and Wolverine. — Sarahi Gonzalez Copy Share Image
Last night I called this girl. SLUT in public & now she is charging me double for sex. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Bitch, you're a booty call stop putting your relationship status as it's complicated — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Weekends are like an orgasm: It takes a lot to get there and when you finally do, it's over in no time ._. — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
Brain is the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days right the time you are born until you fall in love. — Richie Copy Share Image
