That Rebecca Black moment when you get on the bus & don't know which seat to take. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Woman who springs on innerspring this spring, gets offspring next spring. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you predict the end of the world and nothing happens :P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know a transsexual guy whose only ambition is to eat, drink, and be Mary. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Politician: Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My friends ask me why I'm so serious, all I said Bitch, I just got surgery. If I laugh it'll hurt. All… — CJ Copy Share Image
According to Archimedes' principle, what happens when you jump in a bathtub full of water? Answer: The phone rings — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when somebody is doing dishes and you slowly put another dish in the sink — Anonymous Copy Share Image
She: Do You Think Im Fat Now.? Me: No Baby, You Have Just Become My Teddy Bearfrom A Barbie Doll..!! ¥ — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Sometimes I walk through the baby aisle at the grocery store as a reminder to always use a condom. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's a fine line between doing a fist pump and looking like you're jacking off an invisible giant. — Kevin Hart Copy Share Image
Obama's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches.' Romney's Plan = 'Bitches get stitches assuming that bitch can afford healthcare.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Condoms are just like parents...they are there to protect you, but usually it's more fun when they're not around. — Carlos De'shawn Banks Copy Share Image
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
If you bring the balonga..,believe ima bring the goddamn beef. Ima bring the whole cow. — JORdinary_[Ws Copy Share Image
When a woman agrees to give her husband head for no reason --- there is a reason. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't always tweet when I'm drunk, but when I do, it's when I'm visiting my family. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
That's it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I'm going to clown college! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth — Benjamin Dm Copy Share Image
At the eye doctor...Doctor: Please read the lowest line you can. Me: Made in China. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Always have something beautiful in sight, even if it's only a poster on a wall. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if doctor is cute, forget the fruit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If she thinks a vibrator is just a setting on a phone, she's too young for you bro. — Cheyenne Copy Share Image
Facebook? You mean that thing pussies use to bitch about their problems? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
LOVE is like the action similar to an hourglass: the heart fills as the brain empties. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My mind says Victoria Secret model, but my heart says chocolate, pizza, food. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To meet, to know, to love, to share then to part is the sad tale of the human heart. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I don't always fall in love. But when I do she has a boyfriend already. — Anurag Prakash Ray Copy Share Image
That moment when the ugliest guy you know gets a girlfriend and your still single. — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
