We estimate, and this isn't an estimation, that Greta Waitz is 80 seconds behind — David Coleman Copy Share Image
That Awkward Momment WhenSomeone Deletes There Comment So It Looks Like Your Talking To Your Self.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
With one out in the first, Dave Roberts looks a lot better than the last time he pitched against the Padres! — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
I don't sit down to write a funny story. Every single thing I sit down to write is meant to be sad. — Lorrie Moore Copy Share Image
A comedian is not a person who opens a funny door - he's the person who opens a door funny. — Chuck Jones Copy Share Image
The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
I have an impersonal trainer. We meet at the gym, we dont talk, he works out alone, and I go home. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept crashing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Republicans can be a funny bunch. They're against affirmative action, but they always seem to be able to find people of color… — John Ridley Copy Share Image
For the writer, there is nothing quite like having someone say that he or she understands, that you have reached them and… — Virginia Hamilton Copy Share Image
I have a roommate, and I signed a year lease. I screwed up! That's like I wrote a joke that didn't work,… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I think anyone who has, you know, is in any sort of artistic pursuit, kind of goes up and down with the… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny… — Joseph Bologna Copy Share Image
If guns dont kill people, but people kill people, then doesnt that mean that toasters dont toast toast, but instead toast toasts… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Halt," said Horace, "I've been thinking..." Halt and Will exchanged an amused glance. "Always a dangerous pastime," they chorused. For many years,… — John Flanagan Copy Share Image
I broke up with poverty... and the last thing that fool said was...you will never find someone like me...Amen..who cares — Jezreel Copy Share Image
