“If your nipples were on your eyelids, then and only then would I give you eye contact while you are talking to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I like eye contact, but please don’t blink when my eyeballs are touching yours.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I respect people who make eye contact (blind people get a free respect card).” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I looked him in the eyes and said, “I don’t trust you.” I’ll tell you, it’s like looking in a mirror when… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“During conversation, I have no problem making eye contact—with myself in the mirror. Or with my clone, if he’s not rolling his… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I was in the shower the other day and I noticed on the back of the shampoo bottle it said, "Avoid contact… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
