“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have so much love that it could stretch around the world’s largest dick. But so what? Bernanke’s belt does that every… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I am prophetic. I predicted it would snow tomorrow yesterday, and sure enough today it snowed. True, I’ve been saying it will… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Writing all day every day is good, but it’s not good enough. You need to have your clone ghostwriting for you too.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“One day I’ll have my appointment with death, and every day I call out to God to see if I can reschedule… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A miracle every day would cease to be miraculous—it would be mundane. Though even a boring sunset is still glorious.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m winning over fans every day. They’re not my fans, but at least they’re losing and I’m winning.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Every morning I think: What’s the latest I can sleep in ‘til, and still be on time for work? Well, I used… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wanted to sip my daily Starbucks coffee as I got to work early (no later than 11:00 am), have a late… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m the most expensive person in my life. Every day I pay for the poor decisions of my past.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Night—it’s the only thing that will cover up one of my black moods. Good thing my depression isn’t an every day kind… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Sometimes I wear sunglasses while I urinate, and pretend that my pee is a solar laser beam that will cut through my… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I have a stalker, a beautiful one: the sunset. Every day she’s there, watching me, whether I watch her or not.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People can only grow, stagnate, or regress. Which one are you doing? I’m both growing and stagnating, because I’m learning every day,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I collect the most valuable thing in the world—free time. But unlike other priceless things, I don’t need a safe to keep… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
