Every day Quotes by Jarod Kintz

17 Every day quotes by Jarod Kintz

Jarod Kintz finds meaning in the ordinary. These 17 quotes illuminate how he interprets the routine, turning each day into a chance for insight.

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“The cool thing about unemployment is every day is Saturday.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Writing all day every day is good, but it’s not good enough. You need to have your clone ghostwriting for you too.”

Jarod Kintz

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“I’m winning over fans every day. They’re not my fans, but at least they’re losing and I’m winning.”

Jarod Kintz

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“A miracle every day would cease to be miraculous—it would be mundane. Though even a boring sunset is still glorious.”

Jarod Kintz

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“I have a stalker, a beautiful one: the sunset. Every day she’s there, watching me, whether I watch her or not.”

Jarod Kintz

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“I’m the most expensive person in my life. Every day I pay for the poor decisions of my past.”

Jarod Kintz

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“One day I’ll have my appointment with death, and every day I call out to God to see if I can reschedule…

Jarod Kintz

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“I have so much love that it could stretch around the world’s largest dick. But so what? Bernanke’s belt does that every…

Jarod Kintz

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“Every morning I think: What’s the latest I can sleep in ‘til, and still be on time for work? Well, I used…

Jarod Kintz

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“I’m not a very good sleeper. But you know what? I’m willing to put in a few extra hours every day to…

Jarod Kintz

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“Night—it’s the only thing that will cover up one of my black moods. Good thing my depression isn’t an every day kind…

Jarod Kintz

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“I am prophetic. I predicted it would snow tomorrow yesterday, and sure enough today it snowed. True, I’ve been saying it will…

Jarod Kintz

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“People can only grow, stagnate, or regress. Which one are you doing? I’m both growing and stagnating, because I’m learning every day,…

Jarod Kintz

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“Sometimes I wear sunglasses while I urinate, and pretend that my pee is a solar laser beam that will cut through my…

Jarod Kintz

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“I collect the most valuable thing in the world—free time. But unlike other priceless things, I don’t need a safe to keep…

Jarod Kintz

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“I wanted to sip my daily Starbucks coffee as I got to work early (no later than 11:00 am), have a late…

Jarod Kintz

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“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize…

Jarod Kintz

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“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?”

Jarod Kintz

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“I wouldn’t love you if you were the last Sodomite in Gomorrah.”

Jarod Kintz

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“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been…

Jarod Kintz

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“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,…

Jarod Kintz

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“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)”

Jarod Kintz

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“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out…

Jarod Kintz

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“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Embossed letters represent the topography of typography.”

Jarod Kintz

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“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.”

Jarod Kintz

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“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other…

Jarod Kintz

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“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg…

Jarod Kintz

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“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.”

Jarod Kintz

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“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing…

Jarod Kintz

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“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.”

Jarod Kintz

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