“Politicians give criminals a bad name. A bad name like a bad word like shit.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Of all the bars in the world, prison is the worst, followed closely by the ones that serve alcohol.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I were a cop, and I caught a criminal, I’d throw the book at them. A heavy book, like an unabridged… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Just because you don’t have an arrest record doesn’t mean you’re not a criminal. As proof, note some of the cleanest rap… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I once watched several criminals engage in an organized argument, while an audience of supporters cheered them on, but I was so… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I keep my valuable things locked up. Everybody does. Therefore, criminals must be valuable.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people hide behind rules and regulations to deliver sadistic punishments, as if they don’t secretly delight in causing pain and abusing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My headboard has bars, like a jail cell. Sometimes I’ll be asleep and think I’m in prison, and I’ll hear my alarm… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s always going to be a criminal element in the population. At least as long as people believe they need politicians.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The pros and cons of being a criminal: Pros—are cons that haven’t been caught. Cons—are former pros that made a mistake.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“At first, the drudgery of mastering your craft is a prison—boring, slow, and with an awareness of how much time you’ll have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Criminals should be hung like championship banners—proudly, and in an effort to sell tickets.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
