“I run through all the positive character qualities in my mind, and assign myself a number from 1-10 on where I think… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I ended up with the nomination, and the breasts to back up the voter’s confidence in me as a woman.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Don’t just compare yourself to the best, compare yourself to the average man and also to yourself when you started out. Compare… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Exuding confidence can ooze onto everyone around you. But it’s sticky and goo-like, so remember to periodically wipe yourself down. I use… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Love is a bag of electric eels sleeping in a lagoon full of goons and legumes. And I can say that with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“How do you run with confidence and insulation?” Orafoura asked me. ”I don’t know,” I replied, “asbestos you can.” “No,” he replied.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It was one-way glass, and I was on the inside and she was on the outside. She was looking at me with… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Politics are like shoes. On one side you have the left, and on the other side you have the right. And every… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
