“A brick could be used as one ingredient on the greedy Cake of Love. Other ingredients include: Everything. ” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brown blanket could be used in place of chocolate frosting on a cake, and since nobody will want to eat it,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I just baked a cake in the shape of a door. Somebody’s knocking now, so let me get that.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can have your cake, but you can’t eat it. You have to sit there and watch me scarf it down.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I need love. Here’s a list of other things I need: eggs, butter, flour, and sugar. I’m making a cake for the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Out of love I made you a cake. Also out of milk, eggs, flour, sugar, and vanilla.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Just to show my dad that I think he's number one, I bought him a urinal cake for his birthday.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I would answer the door for the pizza delivery guy wearing my birthday suit, but it had cake all over it so… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A cake for all is not a celebration of one. Cupcakes are the ultimate birthday cake.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“We have a love so pure that it makes snow seem yellow. (Don’t eat it!)” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“There’s only one piece of clothing I could eat fast, and that’s a scarf.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
