I'm not on a diet. And it's funny cause people go 'Well, then why do you drink diet soda?' So I can… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Drama is not my passion. If I do it, it's for a check. It's not what I want to do. Comedy's my… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
[Making people laugh] was a secret dream I kept and I didn't tell anybody about it until I was about 18. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Now people are coming up to meet me at my shows and they're doing my bits! One guy earlier was at 7-11 and he… — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
I'm a comedian who happens to be Latino. What's the difference? The difference is, my special will air on Comedy Central, not Telemundo. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
My girlfriend knows that if I'm acting weird at home to go to one of my shows to see what's on my mind. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
I'm not selling out, denying who I am or where I've come from, not at all. I acknowledge that. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
I don't wanna just be remembered for the funniest guy in my neighborhood. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Just saw the movie The Town. It was bad ass! I never rate movies publicly but I really liked it. Now I'm going bowling — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
My favorite people to have fun with are police officers 'cause they're so serious, you know. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Why buy a bootleg shitty copy of my special when you can get it on AMAZON for only $2.99. Swap meet cant do that!! — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image
Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke. — Gabriel Iglesias Copy Share Image