In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example. — Richard Jeni Copy Share Image
I hid the homework, stayed in the bathroom for the longest time trying to cut class - I was a wreck as… — Jordan Francis Copy Share Image
The paperless society is about as plausible as the paperless bathroom. — Jesse Shera Copy Share Image
Before you go to the bathroom in someones house make sure they have toilet paper…i now know — Cici Says Copy Share Image
At school: if you take too long inthe bathroom, EVERYONE THINKS YOU POOPED. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have got five minutes, some whip-its, and the key to the executive bathroom. — Monica Denise Brown Copy Share Image
The bathroom mirror has not budged, the woman who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff they say and looks… — Ani DiFranco Copy Share Image
When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around. I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have a system with bathrooms. I spend a lot of time in them. They are sanctuaries, public places of peace spaced… — Ned Vizzini Copy Share Image
“The bathroom door swings open and Nate walks out. He’s toweling his damp hair and wearing nothing but a pair of boxers.… — Rachel Morgan Copy Share Image
I don't want to abolish government. I simply want to reduce it to the size where I can drag it into the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you go to Europe, public bathrooms have any-gender sink areas and stalls for everyone to use. This is completely reasonable. It… — Jill Soloway Copy Share Image
Women take so long to get ready, but when they get out of the bathroom, they look smokin' hot. That's the struggle… — Andy Grammer Copy Share Image
Sometimes making a story is as easy as putting two characters in a room and seeing what happens. So, imagine a great… — Jim Toomey Copy Share Image
What are you doing in there, waxing your mustache?” Iggy yelled, pounding on the bathroom door. I yanked the door open and… — James Patterson Copy Share Image
I'm starting to believe that part of the solution regarding the devices is that they have a role to play in engaging… — Gerry Lopez Copy Share Image
Most bullies are the product of a stressful and often abusive home life. Next time a bully threatens or attacks you, just… — Eugene Mirman Copy Share Image
There simply aren't any grand moments in life, and we surely don't live in those moments. No, we live in the utterly… — Paul David Tripp Copy Share Image
That’s a funny thing: you think, when awful things happen, everything else just stops, like you would forget to pee and eat… — Lauren Oliver Copy Share Image
In college, all my friends were graffiti writers, but I never wrote graffiti. I wanted to participate and do something cool on… — Ryan McGinley Copy Share Image
If I were straight and I were trying to seduce a woman, I could do it just by standing up at the… — Tom Ford Copy Share Image
Once, I asked my mom why stars shine. She said they were night-lights, so the angels could find their way around in… — Jodi Picoult Copy Share Image
Like a bathroom singer, I am a closet artist, but you need time to paint. — Sushmita Sen Copy Share Image
It's actually one of the hardest things for trans people, is to go to the bathroom. — Amy Landecker Copy Share Image
I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom. — Eoin Colfer Copy Share Image
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them? — George Carlin Copy Share Image
You might be a redneck if going to the bathroom involves shoes and a flashlight. — Jeff Foxworthy Copy Share Image
The chili I ate made for an explosive bathroom experience. I don't know how to put this delicately, but I missed the… — Seth Green Copy Share Image
The Sopranos' is filled with really retrograde humor. Bathroom humor, falls, stupid puns, bad jokes - infantile, adolescent stuff, but it makes… — David Chase Copy Share Image
Too many comics today ramble. By the time they get to the punch line, the audience has either gone to sleep, gone… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
in the mornin' po-lice at my door Fresh adidas squeak across the bathroom floor Out the back window.. I make a escape… — Ice T Copy Share Image
If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when… — Rita Rudner Copy Share Image
I wanna get rich enough in life that I can afford to release a dozen doves every time I walk into a… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
“Brad got up and locked himself in the bathroom, surreptitiously carrying the hairbrush with the perfect handle. How was he going to… — Anne Tenino Copy Share Image
Among the reasons marriages fail, sex ranks no higher than fourth, behind money, having only one bathroom, and an inability to communicate,… — Bette Davis Copy Share Image
The main part of the house is a deep red and I have butterscotch carpet. And I have a bathroom with leopard… — Macy Gray Copy Share Image
Making music for Radiohead is like going to the bathroom, I'm just going to the bathroom constantly, and millions are watching me… — Thom Yorke Copy Share Image
My roommate says, "I'm going to take a shower and shave. Does anyone need to use the bathroom?" It's like some weird… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
