Bathroom Quote by Richard Jeni

“In any relationship there are certain doors that should never be opened. The bathroom door, for example.”

Richard Jeni

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Bathroom Certain Doors Example Relationship Relationships Should

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I met a girl, we ate, we drank, had sex, got married, had affairs, broke up - God, what a night that was!

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Ridiculous that some people feel superior to the gay minority. They're the only couples you'll ever find poking around for ceramics and candle holders…

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Success is made up of courage, brains, and luck. Since the first two are a function of the third, it's pretty much all luck.

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Easiest job you could ever have... whoever gets to put Michael Jackson in a witness chair and create reasonable doubt.

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A bunch of money-grubbin', greenhouse-gasing, seal-clubbing, oil-drilling, Bible-thumping, missile-firing, right-to-life-ing, lethal-injecting hypocrites. People whose idea of a good time is strapping a dead panda…

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Say whatever you want. But the United States has a kickass military and really good bullshit marketing people. If this country was a person…

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Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and…

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I took a wrong turn on the way to the bathroom and found myself in a beautifully proportioned room I had never seen before,…

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In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said…

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My pet peeve is hearing a knock on the bathroom door followed by the familiar words, 'What are you doing in there?

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Using a public bathroom is an incredibly embarrassing experience. I enter the stall but can't reach the lock on the door.

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I get really nervous if pigeons are flying around before shows. I can't stand them after one once flew in through my bathroom window…

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“I'll meet you outside," I said. No way was I actually doing to shout 'I have to pee' at the top of my lungs.”

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I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.

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How are we doing, Simon?" she whispered into the small microphone in her collar. "Just about..." Simon started slowly. And then he stopped. "Wow."…

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Bathroom Quote by Richard Jeni

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