Yesterday, President-elect Barack Obama announced his new economic team. You know what he should do? Hire those people who were in charge… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama's daughters are very smart. They told him they will take the same responsibility for the dog that he is taking… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Speaker John Boehner complained that Barack Obama ordered the U.S. military into combat in Libya without clearly defining the mission to the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
John McCain said that Barack Obama is already measuring the drapes in the White House. That's what he said. I understand Sarah… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Anyway, a spokesman for Barack Obama says the prisoners that are released from Guantanamo will either be sent back to their home… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama spent his first day as president-elect putting together his transition team. And if you believe MSNBC, by tomorrow he will… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Today, President Barack Obama promised to 'detect and pursue' American tax evaders, as opposed to his first 100 days, in which he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Sen. Joe Biden, on the day of announcing his candidacy for president of the United States, called Barack Obama the first mainstream… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I'm sure you know by now, Jesse Jackson was overheard saying, and I'll put this more delicately, that he wanted to cut… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Hey, Barack Obama had to give up his Blackberry. He's the first wired president. ... He might have to give his Blackberry… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama said today that politics has become too gummed up by money and influence ... and then he had to leave… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
In Greece, the unemployment rate has risen to 22%. The solution to the problem was to raise taxes on the rich, according… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama now says he is open to offshore oil drilling. So, apparently, when he promised change, he was talking about his… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Of course, Republicans still can't believe that Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize. But then Democrats can't believe that Sarah Palin… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I tell you, the economy is in bad shape. In fact, the economy is so bad, President Barack Obama's new slogan is… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Really? Anyone intimidated by Barack Obama? He can't even keep Joe Biden in line. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama's mother-in-law might be moving into the White House with him. Joe Biden was right. Hostile forces will test him in… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Jesse Jackson also said he thought Barack Obama was talking down to black people by lecturing them on things like fatherhood and… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
President-elect Barack Obama is starting to get an idea of just how hard his new job is going to be. Today, he… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you all know by now, Barack Obama sent out a cell phone text message at 3 a.m. on Saturday morning to… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
As you know, John McCain is an older, white-haired man who has been in the Senate for over twenty years, voted for… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The other day the plane that Barack Obama was on had some mechanical difficulties and was forced to land. Well, the National… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Barack Obama said yesterday that the economy was 'going to get worse before it gets better.' See, that's when you know the… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Everyone is so concerned now where all of the candidates are born. McCain was born on a military base in Panama. Hillary… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Well, President-elect Barack Obama and his family are gonna spend the holidays in his home state of Hawaii. And you know who… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
If you restore a car, and you're making money, then you're doing it wrong. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
There is a nationwide shortage of drugs for Attention Deficit Disorder. The FDA says they're not sure how it happened. I guess somebody wasn't… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
“Leno said the rainy weather in California "couldn't have come at a worse possible time. Today was the day NBC was supposed to burn… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Donald Trump said he will not decide about a possible run for the presidency until after the current season of Celebrity Apprentice wraps up.… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
American forces in Iraq found $650 million in American cash sealed in a hidden cottage. See, this is why President Bush wants to invade… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had to give up the idea. I'm only six feet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
Texas Gov. Rick Perry referred to the Mexican city of Juarez as the most dangerous city in America. In his defense, he probably just… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out. — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Mayans have predicted the world is supposed to end on December 21. If the world doesn't end on December 21, you can bet… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
The Globe reports that North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Il raises money by selling fake Viagra pills. What it is about this guy? None of… — Jay Leno Copy Share Image
