“I took the wheels of my bike off in support of your bicycle race to support bike riding.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The abbreviation for Brazil, BRA, makes me think of breasts. I have no idea why.” — Jarod Kintz Boobs Copy Share Image
“I bought a five-pound sack of sugar. Now I just need to buy a cup of coffee to dump it in.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Too much coffee has been spilled in the name of war. Let us love and savor every drop.” — Jarod Kintz Coffee Copy Share Image
“I’m older now, which I can’t help, but I’m also fatter, thanks to all the extra helpings.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can fly a plane, but I can’t fly a planet. Not without a seatbelt the size of the equator. The way… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My brakes sound like my horn, and my car’s bumper is bumpy enough to be brail. My ideal reader would be a… — Jarod Kintz Books Copy Share Image
“If I knew everything, life would be lonely, as everyone else would want to explore the world, and I’d be content with… — Jarod Kintz Cats Copy Share Image
“Ryan Lilly is a Seth Godin fan, and that says something. Being a Helen Keller fan speaks volumes about me as a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Which half do you want me to cut in half, Mr. Halfofhalf? The name’s Onequarter. Johnny Onequarter. And don’t you forget it.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m an open book—an open book I’m still writing and editing. My book is a romance novel, sort of like The Secret.” — Jarod Kintz Book Copy Share Image
“I can’t go out tonight, because unfortunately I’m all tied up at the moment. I’m not busy, but I am kidnapped.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Are you OK with pissing people off to succeed? Because that’s what will happen. Success pisses off the unsuccessful.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I wanted to make her a greeting card, but as far as I got was folding the paper in half. I left… — Jarod Kintz Greeting card Copy Share Image
“The government should either force the population to get healthy, or tax them for not complying. If the people still refuse to… — Jarod Kintz Politics Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used to stop war. Logically, a non-brick could be used to start a war. The most common non-brick… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I think a cool war helmet is painted with red and white concentric circles, exactly like a bull’s eye. But I’m not… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve found newspapers only useful as kindling material for campfires. It’s been said that newspaper articles are written at a fifth grade… — Jarod Kintz Fifth grade Copy Share Image
“-You don’t want to come out and celebrate with me tonight? What’s more important than the fact that I just got a… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s amazing that a thin film of plastic wrap is enough to protect food against the aggression of hungry marauders. Or maybe… — Jarod Kintz Food Copy Share Image
“I was joking about my clones to my family when my uncle Herman said, “Don’t do that. Don’t make fun of yourself… — Jarod Kintz Family Copy Share Image
