Time Quotes by Jarod Kintz

“The past—I’m looking forward to it.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If I spent as much time as I did money, I’d be dead tomorrow.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I am the time machine of love. Quick, pull my big lever!”

— Jarod Kintz

“Everybody has a past—even if it lies in the future.”

— Jarod Kintz

“The time is now 3:34. Damn! I’m late for 3:33.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Me: On time. Women: Late. Death: Early.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My future, it almost looks like Christmas—red and green—stop and go.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I can tell time, but I can’t tell time to stop or fuck off.”

— Jarod Kintz

“With the interconnectedness of it all, the world is more fluid than ever. I blame it on the rain. Milli Vanilli was…

— Jarod Kintz

“I am a juxtaposition. And at the same time, I’m not. I’m always like this because I’m not always like this because…

— Jarod Kintz

“You’re disoriented. You’re in the future. You just woke up. You’ve been asleep for eight hours.
”

— Jarod Kintz

“Thinking ahead is like remembering the future. How about that time we made love? I’ll bet it will be amazing.”

— Jarod Kintz

“It’s times like these, in the middle of the night, that I wonder about the wisdom of nicknaming Florida “The Sunshine State.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to help the needy. Giving a brick as a gift is a symbol showing you want to…

— Jarod Kintz

“I gave her a Boston cream pie, even though we were in Seattle at the time.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be used to tell you exactly what I mean, at precisely the moment I don’t mean it. When I…

— Jarod Kintz

“I train for the winning moments, hoping all those seconds off the clock will lead to firsts. I train for seconds, that’s…

— Jarod Kintz

“My grandma came over yesterday, and I had just jumped out of the shower, so I answered the door in my towel.…

— Jarod Kintz

“Hoping you were the first to do something, and fearing you weren’t the first, won’t change the future by altering the past.…

— Jarod Kintz

“Time is fluid, like the wide sky that fades into bright orange in a sunset in The Ozarks. Every moment is meant…

— Jarod Kintz

“My favorite time to network is now. Seriously, what are you doing this instant? Call all your friends and tell them you…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m an artist. I’m a cave painter. Archaeologists and art critics of the future are going to call me a genius. They’re…

— Jarod Kintz

“I won't discuss non-discussable things with her, like the sound of silence or the vertical dimensions of an awkward moment. Those sorts…

— Jarod Kintz

“Every time the wind blows I think of her. I wonder if I could generate electricity off my yearning. Maybe a mind…

— Jarod Kintz

“I think we should change the amount of time in each day. Sunday thru Friday should be reduced from 24 hours down…

— Jarod Kintz

“Order for Jarod,” she said as I walked over to pick it up. This was it, this was my moment.
 Rebecca has…

— Jarod Kintz

“In this moment I’m reminded of Thor tutoring me math in the second grade. Thor was a math major in college, and…

— Jarod Kintz

“There is no other furniture in the room. However, in the center of the room, the floor steps down and a four-foot…

— Jarod Kintz

“When I’m introduced to a woman for the first time, I always say the same thing. I say, “Hi, I’m Jarod, and…

— Jarod Kintz

“I have a 12:34 representational time dance. I do it at 3:33 every other Tuesday (twice a day). If you’d like to…

— Jarod Kintz

“It is possible to be in two dreams at once. If I dream about you, and you are asleep at the time,…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to perpetually feed the hungry, stop all wars, educate the masses, and ensure everlasting peace for all…

— Jarod Kintz

“Oh, look, there are jobs available in Jacksonville! Today there are two jobs for me and 1.2 million other people in this…

— Jarod Kintz

“-Good thing you don’t own a mirror, Mr. Mirrorless, or you’d see how ugly you are. -What makes you think I don’t…

— Jarod Kintz

“Dating is all about getting to know somebody, without wasting a lot of time or money. What is the price of love?…

— Jarod Kintz

“God, the devil, and Orafoura were walking along a river one day when they came across three naked women splashing in the…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used to show you how to live a richer, fuller, more satisfying life. Don’t you want to have…

— Jarod Kintz

“I don’t know why she broke up with me. I was always there when she needed me. Well, aside for about 3/4ths…

— Jarod Kintz

“This book is destined to make waves no matter which ocean you throw it into. This is the first book Jarod's put…

— Jarod Kintz

“I like remembering her as she was—a fantasy of the future.”

— Jarod Kintz