Politics Quotes by Jarod Kintz

“I feel like the boy who cried wolf, even though I know even less about politics.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I have a responsibility as a human being to care for animals—including politicians.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I find honesty to be a rare thing—in politics.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I have a deep respect for shallow pockets. They keep politicians honest.
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— Jarod Kintz

“I’m for a big government. A big government contraction.”

— Jarod Kintz

“The political system, it’s a shame it’s a sham.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I just stepped in shit, and now I’ve got political rhetoric all over my shoes.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Not only did I not get it done, but I’m over budget too. I’m like a politician.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Business idea: Merge a billiard table with a golf course, and make the pockets as deep as a typical politician's pants.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Like a spy, I planted a bug. Like a farmer, I watched it grow into a politician that more than half the…

— Jarod Kintz

“When I’m asleep I’m a politician, and when I’m awake I’m a criminal. Throughout the day and night, my mentality never changes.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If I run for office, my political platform will be made of wood, and it’ll be made by the people.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I ran over some dog poop on my drive home last night. But I didn’t feel bad, because I didn’t vote for…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick has eight edges and six sides. That’s nearly as many sides as a politician takes when discussing a binary issue.
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— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket could be divided into four even parts and given to three equal people. I’d be an ideal politician, because I…

— Jarod Kintz

“A brick could be used as brain filler for the political mind, just in case one of our elected officials needs a…

— Jarod Kintz

“Newt Gingrich, buddy, the people of the United States don’t like you. And the only reason the rest of the world doesn’t…

— Jarod Kintz

“A boring machine, would it drill holes—or put you to sleep? The two-party political system, that’s a boring machine, though voters are…

— Jarod Kintz

“A tongue, if used the wrong way, can cause serious injury or even death. Politicians are famous for misusing their tongues this…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m very careful with political statements. When I bash the Republicans, I know I’ll piss off about half the people. That’s why…

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to be a politician because I like the idea of public service. Come on, who wouldn’t want all the people…

— Jarod Kintz

“What the government makes to make money is money. They make money by making money—literally printing it. While the private sector has…

— Jarod Kintz

“Let’s say you’re a politician. You’re still you, but you are an elected official. In other words, in this scenario, you get…

— Jarod Kintz

“A blanket can be a statement—a generalization and truism covering a multitude of categories, like corruption, ineptitude, ignorance, arrogance, greed, and sloth—which…

— Jarod Kintz

“We’re not so different, you and I. Sure, we may have different religious beliefs, political outlooks, sexual orientations, economic viewpoints, and artistic/literary/culinary…

— Jarod Kintz

“Politics are like shoes. On one side you have the left, and on the other side you have the right. And every…

— Jarod Kintz

“If politicians lived to be only 30-years-old before dying, that’d still be 30 years too long.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I watch my feet as I walk along. Left, right, left, right, why is everything about politics?”

— Jarod Kintz

“It’s only a problem until you ignore it. Come on, that’s Politics 101.”

— Jarod Kintz

“It’s not really masturbating if you’re jacking your clone off. It’s more like politics.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Politicians are people with easy answers for hard problems.”

— Jarod Kintz

“A job is like a politician struggling in the water. Be sure you hold it down.”

— Jarod Kintz

“It is possible to be a retard and a politician. In fact, it’s almost a prerequisite.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Coffee and donuts go together like government policy and subsequent poverty.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Politicians give criminals a bad name. A bad name like a bad word like shit.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I say we cut our government in half, with a chainsaw along their waists.”

— Jarod Kintz

“To stop a battle, a politician would propose a war.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Leadership is being the first to put others second. Wait, that’s not right. That’s politics.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I trust politicians to do what’s right. For themselves.
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— Jarod Kintz

“I serve the people. Am I a politician? No, I’m just a greedy and corrupt waiter.”

— Jarod Kintz