Writer Quotes by Jarod Kintz

“Masturbation, like writing, is best when your mind is working faster than your hand.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Never chew off the hand you write with, you might survive and have to sign autographs.”

— Jarod Kintz

“This book does not exist. And even if it did, it wouldn’t be worth buying or reading.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My writing looks like it’s ten steps behind my mind, and racing to always catch up.”

— Jarod Kintz

“If my clone writes my biography, is it really an autobiography?”

— Jarod Kintz

“I want to write a book called “Conversations.” Of course, it’s all talk at this point.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I wear a helmet when I write, because if you’re doing it right, writing is dangerous.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My cat’s favorite chew toy is a pen. I’d wager that he is a better writer than me.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Some people read books on musicians, while I read music books. Not books on music, but literally books full of sheet music.…

— Jarod Kintz

“You can read until you’re blue in the face, but I’d recommend writing until you’re red in the face. And ass.”

— Jarod Kintz

“To be a great writer, you must be nomadic. I’d recommend the hunter/gatherer lifestyle for anybody serious about being nonsensical.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I’m more developed, and my writing often takes up whole bumpers.…

— Jarod Kintz

“I should charge my bank money every time I endorse the back of a check. What is the going rate these days…

— Jarod Kintz

“Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul and sip and slurp without lowering…

— Jarod Kintz

“I’ve been writing for about eleven years. I went from elfish to elephantish, and in another eleven years I hope to be…

— Jarod Kintz

“A writer should be a recluse. Why share words with a few friends in the moment when they can be written down…

— Jarod Kintz

“The bad news is most of my books are ebooks and aren't for sale in brick-and-mortar bookstores. The good news is that…

— Jarod Kintz

“Your writing can be chosen by one publisher and hated by all readers, or it can be rejected by one publisher and…

— Jarod Kintz

“I wrote this because someone put a gun to my head and said, “Write.” And do you know how long it takes…

— Jarod Kintz

“I put Chap Stick on before I read, because my lips move along with my eyes. Maybe when I’m a stronger reader,…

— Jarod Kintz

“Sometimes I write about the forest, sometimes I write about the trees, and occasionally I’ll write about the lumberjack. Actually, the lumberjack…

— Jarod Kintz

“If the ink of my writing morphed into ants, would they march along with my thoughts? Would they find my work as…

— Jarod Kintz

“I collect things that collect dust. Like dust jackets. Despite no fingerprints in the dust on these books, most of the dust…

— Jarod Kintz

“Bestseller doesn’t necessarily mean good writer. I think it takes 10,000 book sales to make the bestseller’s list, and at about 9…

— Jarod Kintz

“This book is destined to make waves no matter which ocean you throw it into. This is the first book Jarod's put…

— Jarod Kintz

“As a storyteller, I appreciate a great tale. As a cat lover, I appreciate a great tail.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My advice is to write during commercial breaks, and read while your favorite TV show is on mute.”

— Jarod Kintz

“My book is called “Blue Collar.” That’s just a working title.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I write down my dreams. I use the excuse “I’m writing” to sleep all the time.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I’m a book lover. I’ve probably already fucked a whole library.
”

— Jarod Kintz

“The Book of Us. I’m writing it. And you’re in it.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I could write from anywhere, including the moon, provided I had a pencil and not a pen.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I write like I make love: alone in my bathtub, as I let the fantasy overflow and wash over me.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Book: Ten Steps to Asexuality and Financial Freedom, by Lonely Path”

— Jarod Kintz

“When you use your pen to think, you’re never wasting ink.”

— Jarod Kintz

“I may have written this before, but I may not have written it as well, so I’ll write it again.”

— Jarod Kintz

“The problem with ebooks is you can’t get booger smears on the pages.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Writer’s block, I just drove around it four times. All my favorite writers live there.”

— Jarod Kintz

“Rather than dirt, I’d rather push a wheelbarrow full of books. Dirty books.”

— Jarod Kintz

“For my books, I do everything short of writing my own reviews. Those I do tall.”

— Jarod Kintz