“Books allow you to take flight, unlike the chicken wings I stapled to my back before eating them.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The problem with ebooks is you can’t get booger smears on the pages.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I may have written this before, but I may not have written it as well, so I’ll write it again.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Writer’s block, I just drove around it four times. All my favorite writers live there.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I write like I make love: alone in my bathtub, as I let the fantasy overflow and wash over me.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I can read people like an open book, especially if their named Braille, and I’m in a touchy-feely mood.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When people say they don’t read, I always wonder if they don’t because they can’t or because they won’t. Then I think,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“When a writer has deep thoughts, I expect him to also have a deep voice. And if he doesn’t, he should remain… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Last night I read two books back to back. Tonight I’ll probably read both of those books’ front covers.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most writers might as well write in invisible ink, because if what they’re writing is forgettable, it might as well be invisible… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’m working hard to edit my book, so I can get it up for sale so that nobody can rush out and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I were a cop, and I caught a criminal, I’d throw the book at them. A heavy book, like an unabridged… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A writer should be a recluse. Why share words with a few friends in the moment when they can be written down… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“The bad news is most of my books are ebooks and aren't for sale in brick-and-mortar bookstores. The good news is that… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s 3:33 am as I’m writing this down on loose sheets of printer paper. I’m in the back office sitting behind the… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Most people have a list of 100 books to read before they die, or 100 places to visit. Not me. I have… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I don’t like writers whose writing is so obvious that I can predict what he’ll write while I’m still taking in his… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“People who collect books, and categorize them by Roy G. Biv instead of alphabetically, are displaying the fact that their books aren't… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Actual message in letter I mailed: Congrats on getting married! Here’s a hundred-dollar gift certificate to Amazon.com. You could buy something practical,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s easier to start writing if you have something to write about, rather than staring at a blank screen thinking about nothing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“If I told you that my global audience has shot up 100% in the last six months, what would you say? If… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s not lit, it’s literature. Lit is something a book can be, after you’ve decided to burn it. (I suggest you start… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I should charge my bank money every time I endorse the back of a check. What is the going rate these days… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I used to be a bumper sticker kind of writer. Now I’m more developed, and my writing often takes up whole bumpers.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Reading a book is like having the ability to dip a straw into the author’s soul and sip and slurp without lowering… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I’ve been writing for about eleven years. I went from elfish to elephantish, and in another eleven years I hope to be… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Some people read books on musicians, while I read music books. Not books on music, but literally books full of sheet music.… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You can read until you’re blue in the face, but I’d recommend writing until you’re red in the face. And ass.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“To be a great writer, you must be nomadic. I’d recommend the hunter/gatherer lifestyle for anybody serious about being nonsensical.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Hooray! I finally finished making a new book cover. Now I just need to write the book. The cover is the image… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Writing all day every day is good, but it’s not good enough. You need to have your clone ghostwriting for you too.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“My new book is going well. It’s practically writing itself! Actually, what I mean is I’m not writing it, my clone is.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“Read people by their surroundings, their personally designed environments. Like external body language, a room and how its arranged tells you things… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“With my career I want to either make something or make an impact. Writers both make something, and make an impact.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I prefer physical books to eBooks, because an eBook can’t be the solution to a wobbly chair like a real book can.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“A writer edits his thoughts more thoroughly the more readers he has. You can tell I only have two readers, myself included.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“It’s easy to see what to do once it’s already been done. The difficult time is before it’s to be done, and… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“You could say my book is the best book ever (or worst book ever), and it wouldn’t make it any better (or… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share Image
“I notice when you’re gone. Or do I? How can I observe something that isn’t there?” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A blanket could be used to make sweet, sweet music with the love of your life. Hopefully that person is me, because I’ve been… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“A brick could be used to slow down time. Sort of like a camel in a wheelchair pushed by a thirsty Arab. Hey, Khalid,… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I hid Mrs. Frozenwater’s body in the ice cube trays in my freezer. Better to keep her there than let her memory thaw out… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Two similar words might lead to two similar ideas. They might also lead to the basement, which I recently converted into a dungeon/torture chamber.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Nothing is and isn’t; nothing is and isn’t—nothing itself is, and at the same time, nothing isn’t.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Dora J. Arod is to Jarod Ora, as yes is to yes. Yes is also the correct answer to “Will you marry me?” Other… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“The best part about being kidnapped is being blindfolded and getting kicked into the trunk of a car. Boy, normally I have to beg… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“Orafoura once told me that if I were a car, I’d be a Ferrari. One that was scratched smashed, rusted, and stolen.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“What makes a good leader? I ask myself this every day, and then as I begin to list off characteristics I realize I’m describing… — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
“I’d like to file a missing person’s report—on my clone. It’s nearly 2012. He should have been here by now.” — Jarod Kintz Copy Share
