“You were chastising me. You may continue.” (Lord of the Fading Lands)” — C.L. Wilson Copy Share Image
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's more difficult getting up early in the morning when you're wearing silk pajamas. — Eddie Arcaro Copy Share Image
I'm not a fan of stand-up comedy, personally. But some of them are incredibly skilled. — Bob Mortimer Copy Share Image
“She wanted a degree in business technology, not to be the next freaking Nora Roberts.” — Mari Carr Copy Share Image
Humor helps us get through life with a modicum of grace. It offers one of the few benign ways of coping with… — Diane Keaton Copy Share Image
If you really love someone, you shouldn't have to work at it, you finish each others' sentences and have the same sense… — Vanessa Hudgens Copy Share Image
I cut my own hair. I got sick of barbers because they talk too much. And too much of their talk was… — Robert Frost Copy Share Image
“Remember where you are and adjust yourself accordingly, not vice-versa ... otherwise, you might be toast.” — Alisa Dana Steinberg Copy Share Image
By his provocations to good-natured merriment, a humorist of the first water contributes as much to the sum of happiness as the… — Christian Nestell Bovee Copy Share Image
“In this way the squad has merely made the turn-about and a couple of paces, while the squad-leader dashes backwards and forwards… — Erich Maria Remarque Copy Share Image
“Good evening, gentlemen!' said the vampire. 'Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
Physical comedy and musical theatre were never actually in my main focus at school. I was more of a dramatic actor. I… — Ethan Slater Copy Share Image
“Oh God. It isn’t Wednesday, is it, Hardy?” he pleaded, ascending the steps toward the footman, who smiled at sight of him,… — Diana Gabaldon Copy Share Image
I've got a kid in Africa that I feed, that I clothe, that I school, that I inoculate for 75 cents a… — Anthony Jeselnik Copy Share Image
I was not one of those people who wanted to be a comedian when I was growing up. I liked comedy, but… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
Now people want what the movie was about, which is violent comedy. And that's really what The Aristocrats is based on -… — Bob Saget Copy Share Image
“As Tayna would say if I wanted to hear from an ass i would have fart.” — Suzanne Wright Feral Sins Copy Share Image
“It felt exactly like someone had hit me in the head with a church.” — Patrick Rothfuss Copy Share Image
“Mankind's biggest blunder, ignorance. Mankind's second, infallible.” — M.T. Dismuke Copy Share Image
... a nation without humor is not only sad but dangerous. — Abby Aldrich Rockefeller Copy Share Image
