In every instance when my administration sees a responsibility to help people, we will look first to faith-based institutions, to charities and… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
“Fenchurch had red mullet and said it was delicious. Arthur had a swordfish steak and said it made him angry. He grabbed… — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
“Ayrs let long moments fall away. ‘You’re young, Frobisher, you’re rich, you’ve got a brain, and by all accounts you’re not wholly… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
“May love to drop things so you’ll pick them up (which is indicative of a growing sense of object permanence — and… — James Gaylord Copy Share Image
“This fetishization of not censoring yourself, of being an ‘equal-opportunity offender,’ is bizarre and bad for comedy. When did ‘not censoring yourself’… — Lindy West Copy Share Image
“A woman has her needs. What good is a mother to her poor children if she's suffering from low self-esteem and sexual… — Helen Fielding Copy Share Image
I'm thinking of doing a marital comedy for one of the studios, but I want it to be so painful that it'll… — Harold Ramis Copy Share Image
The worst thing ever that you have to explain your joke because I was very disappointed trying to explain why the joke… — Bassem Youssef Copy Share Image
“But in the time between when something gets thought and when it gets done, the ball hit me square across the side… — John Green Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. Eons ago, we created a Universe, then sat back and watched miniature versions of… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
“Monique stood, arms akimbo, some six or seven paces away from Sophronia, and letting forth a scream of unadulterated anger, she hurled… — Gail Carriger Copy Share Image
“If you ask me, it's all these skinny models that make girls anorexic," she went on, to Auntie Barbara. "I can't think… — Elizabeth Young Copy Share Image
“Anytime there's a bad female stand-up somewhere, some dickhead Interblogger will deduce that “women aren't funny.” Using that same math, I can… — Tina Fey Copy Share Image
May your home be filled with laughter and the warm embrace of a summer day. May you find peacefulness and beauty, challenge,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Although it is embarrassing and painful, it is very healing to stop hiding from yourself. It is healing to know all the… — Pema Chodron Copy Share Image
“You may stay. But Jessica, please watch what you say and do. Don't look them in the eyes for long. Speak only… — MaryJanice Davidson Copy Share Image
Its funny because once you do a comedy then the next opportunities you get are sort of in that line. I would… — Kristen Bell Copy Share Image
I've done a number of these My Name is Earl shows. I play Earl's father. It's a half-hour comedy. And I'll be… — Beau Bridges Copy Share Image
A lot of the kind of comedy that I do comes out of real human moments. For them to work, they have… — Brian Regan Copy Share Image
There is no separation of church and state. Modern US Supreme Courts have raped the Constitution and raped the Christian faith and… — Jerry Falwell Copy Share Image
I'm really drawn to comedy. I grew up in the South, so I'm drawn to all things southern, so my role in… — Jayma Mays Copy Share Image
“Mrs. Pott's beady black eyes narrowed,"Do you know how many glass slippers I have to stitch when I get home? There's a… — Sophie Avett Copy Share Image
M*A*S*H offered real characters and everybody identified with them because they had such soul. The humor was intelligent and it always assumed… — Loretta Swit Copy Share Image
If a drink was ice cold, it would be impossible to drink. Because it would be solid. Here's a drink, Mitch -… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“This business with Sir Magnus Pye had got off to an inauspicious start. It was one thing to be stabbed in your… — Anthony Horowitz Copy Share Image
“I just”—Sean looks away, shakes his head—“I don’t know what I’m doing now. It’s like a day-to-day thing. Sometimes I wake up… — Patrick Anderson Jr Copy Share Image
“Shame, child, is for those who fail to live up to the ideal of what they believe they should be." She waved… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“She's a lot more than nice," Gran said with a leer, "after our last date, I came home with my face looking… — Nick Pageant Copy Share Image
I think the thrust of any child is to try to fit in and be part of it. And I can't tell… — Howie Mandel Copy Share Image
I always like the physical comedy because I actually do a lot of it in my own life, but not on purpose.… — Paula Patton Copy Share Image
“Remember how it felt yesterday? What you saw me do?” I snorted and grinned. “Man, do I ever. I remembered twice last… — Missy Welsh Copy Share Image
“A writer flirts with schizophrenia, nurtures synesthesia, and embraces obsessive-compulsive disorder. Your art feeds on you, your soul, and, yes, to a… — David Mitchell Copy Share Image
To date, we've arrested or otherwise dealt with many key commanders of al Qaeda... All told, more than 3,000 suspected terrorists have… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
I love this life, because I am a human being and it sure would be nice, I think, to preserve it. But… — Elizabeth Lesser Copy Share Image
“They who suspect a Mephistophiles, or sneering, satirical devil, under all, have not learned the secret of true humor, which sympathizes with… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
“So, I was looking through websites about animal sacrifice on the Internet," Kami announced to distract herself. "Apparently it's a feature in… — Sarah Rees Brennan Copy Share Image
“There's a kid or some kids somewhere. I'll never know them. They're particle-puzzle-cubing right now. They might be mini-misanthropes from Moosefart, Montana.… — James Ellroy Copy Share Image
“When we resource ourselves in humility, we align with self-acceptance. We often recognize that the need for swagger, bluster and “witty repartees”… — Erik Pevernagie Copy Share Image
“Mr. Payton was at work on his pipe again, lighting and coaxing it. "They need constant attention, pipes, like babies and guinea… — Elizabeth Enright Copy Share Image
“How devastated I am to say that I will not be present at your petite soiree on June 10th. Unfortunately, the exceptionally… — A.C. Kemp Copy Share Image
