“So, with Elena, she put gum in my hair on purpose while I was sleeping, and the next morning I was, like,… — John Green Copy Share Image
“Tell me something important about her. People make fun of her?" "Some did," she said. "I never liked it, but..." "Crap." I… — Jim Butcher Copy Share Image
“You start on Monday with the idea implanted in your bosom that you are going to enjoy yourself. You wave an airy… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
Please, please, please - I would love to do some comedy. Once you have a reputation for one thing - in my… — Emily Watson Copy Share Image
“I was done with men. Totally and completely. I was looking forward to a life as a cat lady. I was going… — Kristen Ashley Copy Share Image
I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up… — C. JoyBell C Copy Share Image
Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“She hit us,” the woman shrieked. That was the gist of it anyway. There were a lot of unladylike words that began… — Patricia Briggs Copy Share Image
The average American may not know who his grandfather was. But the American was, however, one degree better off than the average… — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
“Life is change, constant change, and unless we are lucky enough to find comedy in it, change is nearly always a drama,… — Mark T. Sullivan Copy Share Image
“I opened my backpack and checked my supplies: some enchanted rope, my curved ivory wand, a lump of wax for making a… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
I had a lot of fun with those guys from the Wall Street. The laughter is unlike most settings you'll find. The… — John Buffalo Mailer Copy Share Image
“And this? Aldhelm of Malmesbury. Listen to this page: 'Primitus pantorum procerum poematorum pio potissimum paternoque presertim privilegio panegiricum poemataque passim prosatori… — Umberto Eco Copy Share Image
“Interesting how fashion is cyclical,” Jaccob said when she came out of the store with two black plastic bags. “Goth was the… — Erik Scott de Bie Copy Share Image
“Our story opens where countless stories have ended in the last twenty-seven years: with an idiot—in this case, Rebecca Atherton, head of… — Mira Grant Copy Share Image
They say it grows so cold up here in winter that a man’s laughter freezes in his throat and chokes him to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame… — George W. Bush Copy Share Image
When a teacher is paying extra attention to your child, you believe that it's because you raised such an exceptional kid, one… — Drew Magary Copy Share Image
I think it helps in any comedy room for a woman to have very strong, respected convictions, because then it opens the… — Paula Pell Copy Share Image
“It's like a natural law that my mother can never look anything less than obscenely beautiful. Even though she was wearing jeans… — Rachel Hawkins Copy Share Image
“Mr. Sheep Man," I asked. "Why would that old man want to eat my brains?" "Because brains packed with knowledge are yummy,… — Haruki Murakami Copy Share Image
When I was 14, I saw someone getting their face and wrists slashed with a knife in a pub in Catford. Nobody… — Noel Fielding Copy Share Image
Banning guns, drugs, alcohol, premarital sex, political incorrectness, and gay marriage hasn't worked. We should ban Life. So long as even one… — Rock Cowles Copy Share Image
“Oh, for the love of God. There is no agent more agent than you. I swear you have pin-striped ties encrypted into… — Lisa Gardner Copy Share Image
“I knew there was evil in the world. Death and taxes were all necessary evils. So was shopping. "I hate shopping," I… — Lisa Shearin Copy Share Image
Practice easing your way along...Do your best; take it as it comes. You can handle anything if you think you can. Just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I graduated, I was director of my school's sketch comedy group, and I knew that I wanted to be writing and… — Rachel Bloom Copy Share Image
“If your leg is in a cast, it's really dumb to sit in front of your computer doing unnecessary stuff with it… — Sandy Nathan Copy Share Image
“Have you ever had a girlfriend, Kenji?" "What?" He looks mortally offended. "Do I look like the kind of guy who's never… — Tahereh Mafi Copy Share Image
I don't know if it's a romantic comedy but I'm in the beginning of the first of the season of 'The West… — Jason Isaacs Copy Share Image
“Is this a torture chamber?" Puck asked eagerly. "Listen to all the suffering! Isn't it cool?" "This is a dental office," the… — Michael Buckley Copy Share Image
“I gaped at what I saw next. She yanked his arm off and ate it. Gross! I knew she was hungry, but… — Imogen Rose Copy Share Image
For every woman who's ever wondered about the path not taken, Fenton and Steinke mine—with tremendous humor and insight—the mixed blessing of… — Emma McLaughlin Copy Share Image
In comedy, if you're going to commission something commission two series, don't commission one because so many comedies are finding their feet… — Paul Whitehouse Copy Share Image
My brand of comedy is taking a serious approach to silliness. Small moments of modern life and human behavior make me laugh.… — Jonathan Krisel Copy Share Image
“If you look into the footnotes of the business model for Apple Computer you'll see that they actually give the computers away… — Christian Lander Copy Share Image
“Cheese and crackers? Really?" She looks at me skeptically. "Besides, he's not a gigolo, you prude! He's an escort. Big difference." "An… — Courtney Cole Copy Share Image
“He would be here treating you like a princess.' She thought about saying that he had treated her like a princess, but… — Ruthie Knox Copy Share Image
“ Morris Weissman [on the phone, discussing casting for his movie]: "What about Claudette Colbert? She's British, isn't she? She sounds British.… — Julian Fellowes Copy Share Image
![“I knew there was evil in the world. Death and taxes were all necessary evils. So was shopping. "I hate shopping," I muttered. "Of course you do," Phaelan said. "You're a Benares, [the daughter of a long line of professional thieves]. We're not used to paying for anything." Phaelan was my cousin…” quote by Lisa Shearin](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/e55/lisa-shearin-18999_death_i-knew-there-was-evil-in-the-world-death_2002343.jpg)
![“Morris Weissman [on the phone, discussing casting for his movie]: "What about Claudette Colbert? She's British, isn't she? She sounds British. Is she, like, affected or is she British?” quote by Julian Fellowes](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/de4/julian-fellowes-2981_accents_morris-weissman-on-the-phone-discussing_2539640.png)
