“Nothing like cleaning the whole house while my siblings sing "O Canada" - #oldestchildsyndrome.” — Michelle N. Onuorah Copy Share Image
“Some dumbass outside the reserve thinks you're wearing a butterfly on your arm, you'll get your ass kicked," Rafael said.” — Rose Christo Copy Share Image
“Oh! to shoot for the stars if feels right. Aim for my heart if it feels right.” — Maroon 5 Copy Share Image
“You have a most pressing offer from the cable company…It is a time sensitive offer, you know. I thought you would be… — Vicki Keire Copy Share Image
We're 10 or something, and we're watching 'Evil Dead,' which you don't really see the humor in when you're 10 years old.… — Ross Duffer Copy Share Image
“Forty minutes later, my hatred for field hockey was in full bloom, courtesy of Nikki. Whoever thought it was a good idea… — K.R. Conway Copy Share Image
I would have to say that I have to concentrate more when I'm doing comedy. There are so many details that make… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“It's great to be here. I thank you. Ah, I've been on the road doing comedy for ten years now, so bear… — Bill Hicks Copy Share Image
“I cross my fingers that if a demon dunks me in a vat of boiling lava I'll get thrown together naked with… — Chuck Palahniuk Copy Share Image
“She Snores," said Siku, looking at me. "You better get earplugs. That kind of thing runs in the family." I opened my… — Nina Berry Copy Share Image
“My fantasy’s interrupted by some uppity-ass eight-year-old who thinks it would be funny to try to run me off the track by… — Caspar Vega Copy Share Image
“Other males saw Nïx as exceedingly comely; all Bowe saw was a powerful being made mad as a hatter from her foresight.… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
People think I'm into sports because I'm a man. But I'm not into sports. I like Gatorade, but that's about as far… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
It's so cool to be in an ensemble because you're in something that's bigger than yourself, and it's even crazier to be… — Sarah Sherman Copy Share Image
I love the Swedish people for their detective novels, their archipelago, their sense of humor, their carbonated vodka, and most especially, for… — Michael Levitt Copy Share Image
“I don't get it. I'm sexually attractive to a remarkable degree-" "And humble." "It's not bragging if it's true. And I'm his-which… — Kresley Cole Copy Share Image
“The evening was still warm enough for shirtsleeves, and the city was clinging to summer like a wannabe trophy wife to a… — Ben Aaronovitch Copy Share Image
“You spoke to Nicodemus?' Vivian asked. [Francesca] 'We did.' V: 'And he trusts you?' F: 'As much as one might after a… — Blake Charlton Copy Share Image
“I pushed back my chair and leaned against the table, then swung back to Tens. 'And if you're not nicer to me… — Amber Kizer Copy Share Image
People say that Marion, the girl I played in Requiem for a Dream, was pretty dark, too, so I guess I should… — Jennifer Connelly Copy Share Image
When I was in third grade I taught myself ventriloquism... What's hard is to learn to be an entertainer and make people… — Jeff Dunham Copy Share Image
I saw a commercial for an above-ground pool, it was 30 seconds long. Because that's the maximum amount of time you can… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Atoms are round balls of wood invented by Dr. Dalton. (Answer given by a pupil to a question on atomic theory, as… — Henry Enfield Roscoe Copy Share Image
“I know that David Tennant's Hamlet isn't till July. And lots of people are going to be doing Dr Who in Hamlet… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
If you're going to make a comedy and if your sole interest is in making people laugh and feel good and entertaining… — Dwayne Johnson Copy Share Image
I really like people who can do both drama and comedy and not some like middle of the road do both drama… — James Gunn Copy Share Image
I like when they say a movie is inspired by a true story. That's kind of silly. "Hey, Mitch, did you hear… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“what’s meant for you will reach you in time, and if you embrace it with your arms wide open it might just… — Jayde Scott Copy Share Image
“The most upsetting thing about Society’s attitude towards disabled people is that many millions of disabled people became disabled while trying to… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The thing with love is, you cannot choose who you fall for. Falling in love often happens at the wrong time, in… — J.C. Reed Copy Share Image
“You can stick your questions up your ass.” He slammed his tail in front of her. “I don’t think I heard you,… — G.A. Aiken Copy Share Image
“Handles. That’s all he could think when he saw them. The woman had braided handles into her hair, just begging a man… — Shannon K. Butcher Copy Share Image
“The historical record contradicts the assumption that the Nazis sentenced large numbers of people to death during World War II for telling… — Rudolph Herzog Copy Share Image
It's good they're holding the Olympics in the East End of London. Means the athletes will have to use extra skill to… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“What would Golan Do? That way I can ask myself before I do anything. Before I take a dump. How would Dr.… — Ransom Riggs Copy Share Image
“...Fran? Frances Hill, you stop that right now! What the devil's got into you? Ada, you should be ashamed! Braying like a… — Jennifer Donnelly Copy Share Image
When I first started acting, I started in opera and had a great desire to play grand, tragic characters. I got sidetracked… — Leslie Easterbrook Copy Share Image
Humour is often linked to shared experience. Like, a guy gets up and says, Have you noticed public restrooms have really inefficient… — Bo Burnham Copy Share Image
Morvern Callar's' a really weird film, in a sense, where I was trying to experiment with taking things in a different direction,… — Lynne Ramsay Copy Share Image
“past is like an history which no matter how much you try hide , it will always resurface but when u let… — oloruntofunmi kolade Copy Share Image