Humor Quotes · Page 386

“When I see a spade I call it a spade. I'm glad to say I have never seen a spade!”

— Oscar Wilde

“Mario no tenía humor para la chabacanería y había superado hacía años cualquier tendencia a la promiscuidad”

— Isabel Allende

Without context, things are not scary. Without context, like humor, horror doesn't work.

— Guillermo del Toro

“The most important thing to remember is that the safe word is for the client; you bring mace.”

— Isa K

When I saw 'The Office' I thought, 'That's it for our type of humour. This has changed comedy for ever.' I loved…

— Harry Enfield

Comedy thrives on immediacy and I got fed up waiting months to find out if a radio sketch show was being commissioned.

— Richard Herring

“Nothing is more curious than the almost savage hostility that humor excites in those who lack it.”

— George Saintsbury

I never had a particular brand of comedy, nor did I follow a particular style.

— Vivek

“Virtuoso? Are you serious? What kind of code name is that? Who's assigning code names these days? They should be shot. How…

— Elizabeth Bevarly

I don't believe pumpkin pie is even made from pumpkin. I mean, how can something that smells that shitty make a pie…

— Lewis Black

“He has got no good red blood in his body," said Sir James. "No. Somebody put a drop under a magnifying-glass, and…

— George Eliot

“Indeed, she seemed to have a special role as a wise woman, a woman whose robust common sense and humor had been…

— Oliver Sacks

“There was no sense to life, to the structure of things. D.H. Lawrence had known that. You needed love, but not the…

— Charles Bukowski

You can be good at comedy, which means you'll be given spots, but beyond that it is luck that pushes you to…

— Romesh Ranganathan

It just seems to me that there's no particular reason comedy albums should be dead. There's a lot to laugh at. We…

— Eric Idle

“Mission motto, sir," said Carrot cheerfully. "Morituri Nolumus Mori. Rincewind suggested it." "I imagine he did," said Lord Vetinari, observing the wizard…

— Terry Pratchett

I went to the hardware store to buy some batteries, but they weren't included, so I had to buy them again.

— Steven Wright

The humour of Dostoievsky is the humour of a barloafer who ties a kettle to a dog's tail.

— W. Somerset Maugham

Humor has been a major component in our past successes; a good joke and a good product combined can get a lot…

— Vince Offer

There was this funny thing of anything could happen now that we realized everything had.

— Raymond Carver

“Whew! You two are blowing hotter air than a tornado circlin’ a volcano in Hades.”

— Colleen Houck

“Just my luck: My bloodthirsty killing machine was better with both kids and women than I was.”

— Jon in by Van Name

Marshall you're so funny man you should be a comedian god damn unfortunately I am I just hide behind the tears of…

— Eminem

“Atkins knows two kinds of birds: seagulls and the ones that aren't seagulls.”

— Iain Sinclair

Your writing", she said to me, "it's so raw. It's like a sledgehammer, and yet it has humor and tenderness. . . .

— Charles Bukowski

“The first time I came to Deadwood, I got shot in the ass." -Violet Parker”

— Ann Charles

When I was doing comedy in New York, before I was in movies, I was never known as the deadpan actress. I…

— Aubrey Plaza

“He's a good boy, he takes instruction well; I just can't think of enough things to tell him not to do.”

— Ferrol Sams

I've told several writers this, and, again, I get back to it, but if you want to make God smile, tell him…

— Vin Scully

“Pissing out the window, and sh*tting out the window, are two different things!”

— Tourettes Guy

Nothing seems too high or low for the humorist; he is above honor, above faith, preserving sense in religion and sanity in…

— Sean O'Casey

I've never really wanted to go to Japan, simply because I don't like eating fish and I know that's very popular out…

— Britney Spears

Went to Wendy's, ordered a Baconater... they forget the bacon... how the hell do you do that!?

— Anonymous

“In a deep sexy voice, she said Windows don't turn me on. I raised an eyebrow at her, Mac user?”

— Diane Mott Davidson

I think animal crackers make people think that all animals taste the same.

— Mitch Hedberg

Honestly, my biggest education regarding improv comedy actually came on the job working for 'My Boys.'

— Reid Scott

“Nobody imitate of someone, maybe there's such a problem of everyone, and they also try to find a solution and it called…

— Manroop suthar

I mean comedy is something that's very personal and people have strong opinions about.

— Matt Lucas

“You are fifty different kinds of twisted." "Only fifty? Val, you wound me.”

— Nenia Campbell

If this humor be the safety of our race, then it is due largely to the infusion into the American people of…

— William Howard Taft