Humor Quotes · Page 20

Tinsel is really snakes' mirrors.

— Steven Wright

“We survived, Ellie, we survived.”

— John Marsden

“Did you know that I can see you?”

— Katt Williams

Humor is just truth, only faster!

— Gilda Radner

“Laughter is the remedy of all.”

— Euginia Herlihy

“Who flipped your bitch switch?”

— Quinn Loftis

When all else fails, look cute.

— Jim Davis

“There, there are no chicken wings”

— Brian Michael Bendis

“I'm not afraid of the dark. I am. Humor me.”

— Joss Stirling

Whether planned or not, humor takes our mind off of our troubles.

— Allen Klein

For the most part, comedy is the only fair part of show business.

— Chris Rock

When you're small, you either are funny, or you get beat up a lot.

— Tim Conway

We, the comics that we like, we're all, like, post-humor.

— Tim Heidecker

Comedy is a way of hiding - especially character comedy.

— Lenny Henry

“Basically each one of us is alone here. Everything else is show biz.”

— Art Hochberg

“Hope lies in a genuine embracing and nurturing of one's neurosis”

— Chris Niebauer Phd

“you should always tie your shoe before walking because u just might slip one day”

— Antwone Quenton Fisher

Humor is the only thing that allows you to survive every pressure and crisis.

— Vinton Cerf

Manners with fortunes, humors turn with climes, tenets with books, and principles with times.

— Alexander Pope

Those of us who spent time in the agricultural sector and in the heartland, we understand how unfair the death penalty is.

— George W. Bush

“[ We apologize for it taking so long, but IRL rewards require patience. ]”

— Daniel Thorman

The thing that attracted me the most was comedy acting and people like Catherine Tate and Olivia Colman; people doing funny voices…

— Lolly Adefope

Comedy holds the greatest risk for an actor, and laughter is the reward.

— Cary Grant

“Oh that looked painful," called another Puck, a little farther down. "We really need to talk about your anger-management problems.”

— Julie Kagawa

“They intend to make people's very appetites the next weapon of uncountable destruction. They intend that your people will lust themselves into…

— Robert Stikmanz

When you're in Hollywood and you're a comedian, everybody wants you to do other things. All right, you're a stand-up comedian, can…

— Mitch Hedberg

“Because of social strictures against even the mildest swearing, America developed a particularly rich crop of euphemistic expletives - darn, durn, goldurn,…

— Bill Bryson

“So how big is this thing anyway?” Desideria asked Chayden made a sound of irritation. “You know, that’s not really a question…

— Sherrilyn Kenyon

“(Rude Scrabble) You played this game with your parents?" he asked skeptically. Yep. And Mom always won, the dirty bitch. I guess…

— Sarah Mayberry

“There was a peal of laughter from the girls. Then, before anyone could say a word, the line was seen to move…

— Cao Xueqin

“When slow songs do play, people joke that you should be able to fit "the standard works" between you and your partner.…

— Elna Baker

“Dilemma? Let him have his way with something simple, or keep getting my way and him torture me later? Hmmm. I guess…

— J.A. Redmerski

“Bad pony-men! BOO!”

— Rick Riordan

Madness has no sense of humour

— Adam Foulds

We ought to make the pie higher.

— George W. Bush

Comedy is a universal language.

— Alex Hirsch

Cynicism is the humour of hatred.

— Herbert Beerbohm

Comedy is acting out optimism.

— Robin Williams

“Tea no more! Down with bustles!”

— Nancy Moser

“Au contraire, mein Freund.”

— Barry Lyga