“When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because he had delusions of Papal grandeur” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I hate carrying a torch, which is weird because otherwise I'm such a pyromaniac” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Y'know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations, like sitting on frozen peas after a vasectomy” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Maturity is when you no longer get the urge to make snow angels in mud season” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If Life flashes before your eyes just before you die…mine will be wearing a trench coat” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I always splash on the cologne before a blind date because dogs can smell fear” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If the second date seems to be going well, it's pretty much a given that by dessert I'll renounce my faith” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman” — josh stern Copy Share
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“Not only will those ultra bright European sulphur diode high beams ' catch a deer in the headlights' they'll vaporize it too” — josh stern Copy Share
“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months” — Josh Stern Copy Share
