“Date rape is just plain moronic when you consider how slutty figs are” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Never love anybody who treats you like you're normal...they're just the psychiatric hospital staff” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I'm playing chess while everyone else is playing checkers, that's why I always lose” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Don't you wish we all lived in black light… for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“the only drinking problem I've ever had, is figuring out why I'm still stuck in this salad spinner” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels…” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Love is just the chocolate-coated realization you're going to spend the rest of your life with a person and unfortunately it melts… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I hate pulling out... I mean, I'm really bad at the whole parking thing…” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Don't ever mistake silence for ignorance, when it is obviously stupidity” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Target your random acts of kindness, to keep a tally of who owes what” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The primary difference between sex and death is, with death there is no dress code” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Treat me like a king and I'll treat you like a queen…..Treat me like a queen and off with your head” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“You're only given as much as you can handle, before going back for seconds” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Some people are so positive, that when they slip in dog poop, they pirouette” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It's one thing if your hobby is to put ships inside a bottle, but a deer in the headlights!... That's a real… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“When it comes to exacting revenge, it gets harder and harder to top yourself each successive time” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I hate carrying a torch, which is weird because otherwise I'm such a pyromaniac” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because he had delusions of Papal grandeur” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“I spread eggshells all over my room, so anyone who tries to get close when I sleep will know what they're walking… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman” — josh stern Copy Share
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“Not only will those ultra bright European sulphur diode high beams ' catch a deer in the headlights' they'll vaporize it too” — josh stern Copy Share
“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months” — Josh Stern Copy Share
