“Come Hell or High Water" usually depends on the kind of plug you use in the bath tub” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“There's always someone we'd love to kill, the trick is to make it not look like an accident” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Don't you wish we all lived in black light… for one thing, it would mean an end to toothpaste as we know… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Ever play 'mirror mirror on the wall' with two mirrors facing each other?” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If a picture paints a thousand words, then a naked picture paints a thousand words without any vowels…” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If it's the thought that counts, then ignorance must use a calculator” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“There's a fine line between stuff, and if you stare at it long enough it'll drive you insane or to genius” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Some people drip wax on themselves like a human chianti bottle to see if they feel anything….but getting a wicker basket to… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“When you're out in the wilderness and get back to base camp only to discover sleeping bag turndown service….that's no chocolate on… — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“The only difference between me and a madman is that he has the certification” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Blood is thicker than water, but they still use corn starch as a thickener on cooking shows” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Sure I eat my feelings, but I save the emotional roller coaster for dessert” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
“Behind every great man is a great woman' but in front of every great man should be a spectacular woman” — josh stern Copy Share
“It's not hard to fail...it's hard to accept you failed...but once that's out of the way, it's pretty smooth sailing” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the blame” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“Not only will those ultra bright European sulphur diode high beams ' catch a deer in the headlights' they'll vaporize it too” — josh stern Copy Share
“It's not that I'm ahead of my time, it's more that the world is running late” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“As for Chicks with Daddy Issues: Do I really want to be with a Woman who wants to be my Father?” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“The practice of doing more than necessary works best when packing lunch boxes” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“I like my coffee like I like myself…making rustling noises inside a burlap bag” — Josh Stern Copy Share
“If you know how to open doors with just a smile, you must need your teeth capped every six months” — Josh Stern Copy Share
