It's not bad enough I am exiled? It's not bad enough you take away the few good heroes I'm allowed to meet?… — Rick Riordan Copy Share Image
Men are not amusing during the shooting season; but, after all, my dear, men were not especially designed to amuse women. — Gertrude Atherton Copy Share Image
So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes… — Tommy Cooper Copy Share Image
When I started my program... there was a big clock in the corner and I looked and it said nine o'clock exactly.… — Sarah Hughes Copy Share Image
When I was a kid my parents used to tell me, "Emo, don't go near the cellar door!" One day when they… — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
I'm not mad keen on comedy that points the finger at people and ridicules them. I don't find that very funny. I… — Caroline Quentin Copy Share Image
When you reminisce, you don't say, 'Remember that time you got sued by so-and-so?' No, you say, 'Remember when we played here… — John Petrucci Copy Share Image
Somebody broke into my house once, this is a good time to call the police, but mm mm, nope. The house was… — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
“I came into the room, which was half dark, and presently spotted Lord Kelvin in the audience and realised that I was… — Ernest Rutherford Copy Share Image
I'm tired of all this nonsense about real beauty is inside you.That's deep enough. I mean what do you want, a 'gorgeous… — Bishwajeet Pattnayak Copy Share Image
Today I learnt that, the extra oregano sachets the Pizza places give you, is the best ingredient to spice up your late… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Mendelssohn never wrote any Water Music. However, he wrote the Scotch Symphony, which is even better, or at least stronger. — Victor Borge Copy Share Image
Whatever the occasion, do not neglect alcohol. No other refreshment will do. Yes, alcohol kills brain cells, but it's very selective. It… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
The thing about glitter is if you get it on you, be prepared to have it on you forever. Because glitter doesn't… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
“Mr. Taylor has this habit of emphasizing his point by using three adjectives or verbs in a row. 'Class, you must know,'… — Randa Abdel-Fattah Copy Share Image
This is quite difficult 'cause I have a really flat head, and so it's quite difficult to get a correct angle. And… — Robert Pattinson Copy Share Image
Many Americans follow pro basketball from November through June, for reasons that I found unexplainable, other than the fact that they were… — Dan Jenkins Copy Share Image
Moscow has changed. I was here in 1982, during the Brezhnev twilight, and things are better now. For instance, they've got litter.… — P. J. O'Rourke Copy Share Image
I was in the hospital today and saw this cute guy with a cast on his leg and my first thought was… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“They arrived home again to a most peculiar sight. The small garden at the front of the Banana House had been transformed.… — Hilary McKay Copy Share Image
The Americans are extremely gadget minded people and American gadgets have a peculiar characteristic: they work. — George Mikes Copy Share Image
Henry Miller is a famous writer whose work has fallen out of fashion, but I strongly recommend that readers who don't know… — Siri Hustvedt Copy Share Image
When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
“The Schnauzer listens to jazz. I listen to jazz because he likes it, and I have even gone to jazz concerts with… — Augusten Burroughs Copy Share Image
There is nothing more amusing than when two people known for being non-objective argue over objectivity. This is the summation of Keith… — Dana Loesch Copy Share Image
I just read an article on the dangers of drinking.Scared the shit out of me.So that's it!After today no more reading. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im afraid of three things: Women, snakes, and the police. They all have the ability to hurt me and make it look… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and… — Tom Hanks Copy Share Image
Writing for 'Rooster' was a strange experience. It's funny, once you tap into a voice, words just start to flow. You know… — Jez Butterworth Copy Share Image
“Your sweetheart isn't too happy about this," Shay said, still smiling. I looked toward the back of the room. Ren watched us,… — Andrea Cremer Copy Share Image
I personally like Kolarov. He is one of the funniest players I have played with. Every day, he has something new, and… — Fernandinho Copy Share Image
“I saved you,” Andersen said at last, slowly but firmly, like Pat was an idiot child who had to be reminded of… — Alex Gabriel Copy Share Image
You have to take a lot of bad pictures. Dont' be afraid to take bad pictures... You have to take a lot… — Martin Parr Copy Share Image
Do U know the fullform of COLLEGE:- C-Come, O-On, L-Lets, L-Love, E-Each, G-Girl, E-Equally¦¦ Thats why boys go to college — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
“I'm taller than my father, and taller than two of the stones at Ban Drochaid ." "I meant in feet," she clarified.… — Karen Marie Moning Copy Share Image
Your husband is lazy if when he leaves the house, he finds out which way the wind is blowing and goes that… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension,… — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
It's your 60th birthday! Did you hear me? Hey...'It's your 60th birthday!' Hope your year is better than those ears! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I really don't like drunk women; I think it is such a bad look. I think it's very inappropriate and I don't… — Gwyneth Paltrow Copy Share Image
![“Mr. Taylor has this habit of emphasizing his point by using three adjectives or verbs in a row. 'Class, you must know,' Simon begins [imitating] in a droning voice, flinging her arms around at every syllable, 'that should you fail to understand, to comprehend, to FEEL the power of the…” quote by Randa Abdel-Fattah](https://sms4smile.com/q/img-quotes/66c/randa-abdel-fattah-12772_funny_mr-taylor-has-this-habit-of-emphasizing_373017.jpg)
