God, grant me the serenity to accept the stupid people as they are, the courage to maintain self-control and the wisdom to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. — Will Rogers Copy Share Image
Hitler was a vegetarian. Just goes to show, vegetarianism, not always a good thing. Can in some extreme cases lead to genocide. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
We all know he was talented but he was also a very smart, kind, funny individual and his personality and presence will… — Chamillionaire Copy Share Image
I've said it before and I'll say it again. The U.S. Geological Survey has told me that the proven potential for oil… — Ronald Reagan Copy Share Image
20 years from now, some adults are going to say they grew up on the bad part of town, meaning there was… — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
When I named it 'Girl Problems,' I knew I would be inviting some interesting questions and some funny questions, but that was… — Chris Lane Copy Share Image
My girlfriend broke up with me because she says I listen to way to much Linkin park but in the end it… — Mario Tomasello Copy Share Image
I think mockumentaries are such well-trodden grounds for comedies. It has been done a lot, but it is because of that informal… — Natasia Demetriou Copy Share Image
Latest Technology: U can now check ur weight on ur phone,Ipad,Tab or Iphone, Just dial *00001 and stand on ur phone or… — Mars Mavis Paul John Copy Share Image
Today I tried to prank Call Dominos Pizza, the conversation went like this: Me: Is this the Krusty Krab? the Cashier responded… — Sheryne Brooks Copy Share Image
“I'm going to wake Peeta," I say. "No, wait," says Finnick. "Let's do it together. Put our faces right in front of… — Suzanne Collins Copy Share Image
Happy Leap Day! Use it to do something adventurous that you'd never normally do! Now if you'll excuse me, I have to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A rap at the back door made her jump, and she peered through the window for a long time before she eased… — Rachel Caine Copy Share Image
Some guys hold their girlfriend's hand in malls because.. . . If he leaves her hand.. She'll go shopping!! It looks ROMANTIC… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he's been doing all summer is carrying… — Charles Barkley Copy Share Image
The word aerobics came about when the instructors said If we're going to charge money, we can't call it jumping up and… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
There have been moments where I laughed at my own family's culture, though it's hard to separate out whether something funny is… — Lulu Wang Copy Share Image
“I tried to picture a bunch of guys in blue suits running around a beachside neighborhood, knocking on doors and flashing Fed… — Nelson DeMille Copy Share Image
There are a lot of funny motels. There was one motel in the middle of nowhere: it was real plain, but it… — Fred Schneider Copy Share Image
“She was in hell.” Logan grabbed Blake’s hand, planted a foot against the giant’s thigh and heaved back. “We need to make… — A. Kirk Copy Share Image
If you like dry humor, Henrik Stenson thinks he's very funny, but I think I'm very funny in a dry sense as… — Tommy Fleetwood Copy Share Image
It's funny: now we're starting to do interviews, we've just begun to understand what we're doing, whereas before, without doing interviews, we… — Siouxsie Sioux Copy Share Image
“Oh please," Scout said."Don't take that tone with me. You know you'd love to have a minion. Someone at your beck and… — Chloe Neill Copy Share Image
From birth to 18 a girl needs good parents; from 18 to 35, she needs good looks. From 35 to 55, good… — Sophie Tucker Copy Share Image
I used to be jealous; I'm not jealous anymore. And a miracle happened to me, because if you're jealous, it's a cancer,… — Marc Maron Copy Share Image
What really irks me is the snide victimizing suggestion from some that I have tried to be lighthearted and funny... Oh my… — Michael Leunig Copy Share Image
If I really got my ribs removed, I would have been busy sucking my own dick on the wonder years instead of… — Marilyn Manson Copy Share Image
I'm not one to sit here and judge here. But I think it's funny that the people that condemn the adult industry… — Sasha Grey Copy Share Image
You see the button with the guy with the tray, and you push it, and he arrives with a sandwich! And you… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
“I’m not your boyfriend!” I snapped, trying to gently move her hands away from my body. “How can you say that?” Sara… — Laura Kreitzer Copy Share Image
“It’s said that sport is the civilised society’s substitute for war, and also that the games we play as children are designed… — Danielle Wood Copy Share Image
I love films. It's really funny, actually. Like, I see a lot of smaller movies. But a lot of these big, epic… — Anya Taylor-Joy Copy Share Image
Relationships Nowadays: First week I love you baby! Second week we are forever! Third week single. be back latter — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm always on the road, and I drive rental cars. Sometimes I don't know what's going on with the car, and I'll… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I don't steer towards anything. I steer towards character and truth. If it's funny then so be it. If it's dramatic, so… — Tate Taylor Copy Share Image
With all singers, insecurity is your best security. That's why we're such loud people and why we walk all funny. You think,… — Bono Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when a package says Easy open & you end up using scissors, knife, hammer, gun & a lightsaber trying… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The West Sister Dating Rules were clear on the matter of apologies. On the evolutionary scale of dating, a guy who apologized… — Alex Gabriel Copy Share Image
Ek ladki match dekhne gayi, lips par india ke tirange ka rang laga tha, ek ladka aaya kiss kar gaya or bola… — Sadie Copy Share Image
