I remember making 'Mr. Show,' thinking, 'Man this stuff is really funny to me.' I don't know if anyone else will love… — Bob Odenkirk Copy Share Image
“Kid, time’s up,” Hunter said to the boy on Santa’s lap. “I’m not finished!” the boy cried. Hunter bent over, until their… — Lizzy Ford Copy Share Image
We get some great gifts. Trophies, very funny things, one woman even made a diorama of us sitting recording the podcast. — Karen Kilgariff Copy Share Image
It's surreal to be hanging out on Ozzy's patio with him talking politics. It's so funny when people doubt that he's with… — Jim Norton Copy Share Image
I said in my earlier book, and find no reason for retracting my statement, that the famous Jewish sense of humour got… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road, He Suddenly Shouted & Said:… — Shubham Pal Copy Share Image
I was born in Paris in the mid-1960s, and by the time I was 12 I had started going to the movies… — Christian Louboutin Copy Share Image
Apparently I'm a 'Long' texter. Thanks for the criticism. Next time I'll just write 'F*ck you Grandpa.' instead. — Jonah Hill Copy Share Image
“This is a theater," Bertie, annoyed by the inquisition, dropped him onto stage. Several feet of slack cable landed atop the fairy… — Lisa Mantchev Copy Share Image
I find it funny that when a girl says, Oh I'm so fat, or the I'm so ugly a guy who hears… — Amanda Day Copy Share Image
If a story is funny, and I made it up, then the big message is, 'Aren't I clever?' .. If a story… — Dave Gorman Copy Share Image
“I see that even as the world plunges into darkness and peril, you two stand around discussing your love lives. Teenagers.” — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
“I was doing my little stand up shtick, the one I did for pretty girls, so they'd like me quickly and wouldn't… — Emily M. Danforth Copy Share Image
Anyone who says having a child is the best moment of their life has obviously never had two Kit-Kats fall out of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've been to Canada, and I've always gotten the impression that I could take the country over in about two days. — Jon Stewart Copy Share Image
I took my father on a coach trip last summer.We were halfway there when the driver lost control of the coach, it… — Chic Murray Copy Share Image
“Henry narrowed his eyes at me. "You going somewhere?" "Lacrosse field trip," I said. "I enjoy whacking the hell out of people… — Robin Benway Copy Share Image
You are personally responsible for everything in your life, once you become aware that you are personally responsible for everything in your… — Bruce H. Lipton Copy Share Image
That annoying moment when you're about to say something but your forgot what it is because someone suddenly speak out loud. — Ohteenstories Copy Share Image
People are apprehensive about finding 'The Leftovers' funny because it's such a dark circumstance, but I think, really, what the show is… — Emily Meade Copy Share Image
“I pictured Locke's heart shot through with an arrow and then shook my head to get rid of the image. It wasn't… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
I have an oscillating fan at my house. It goes back and forth. It looks like the fan is saying "no." So… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
It's really extraordinary what a variety of ways of loving there must be. We all do it as it was never done… — Jerome K. Jerome Copy Share Image
Candace: ugh I need to go bust my brothers Stacy: technically you don't have to bust your brothers Candace: well their not… — Phineas And Ferb Copy Share Image
The day I retire, I want other women to look at me and say: 'Man, Jessica was awesome, funny and a lesbian.… — Jessica Andrade Copy Share Image
The criminalization of file sharing is pathetic. It's so pathetic, it's almost funny. Imagine if the radio people would have lobbied for… — Lexi Alexander Copy Share Image
Most of us here in the media are what I call infotainers...Rush Limbaugh is what I call a disinfotainer. He entertains by… — Al Franken Copy Share Image
Relationships are hard. It's like a full-time job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to… — Bob Ettinger Copy Share Image
You think your life is hard? Just think, there's a turtle out there has been flipped on its back and can't get… — Pretty Ladii Copy Share Image
There's this funny thing with pilots that you have to sign the contract to do the whole job before you're even offered… — Eve Best Copy Share Image
All the commercials on TV today are for antidepressants, for Prozac or Paxil. And they get you right away. "Are you sad?… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
I was once on a German talk show, and this woman said to me, 'Mr. Williams, why do you think there is… — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
A friend has to asks you whats wrong, a good friend has a shoulder for you to cry on, but a best-friend… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Sirens blasted, breaking the silence and spinning me around. The shrill sound was all too familiar, and I snapped into action. Vicious… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
“Gabe!” she calls. “Dr. Gabe.” He looks at her blankly “Don’t you know me? You’re my OB-GYN.” Gabe’s eyes move instinctively from… — Alan Eisenstock Copy Share Image
I don't want to do something for the sake of doing it. I want it to be a great role and I… — David Faustino Copy Share Image
When you see a man opening a car door for a women it only means 1 of 2 things, either the car… — Ana Copy Share Image
Shashank is a very sweet guy. He is very funny and down to earth both. At the same time, he is humble… — Sargun Mehta Copy Share Image
“If you're going to be a superhero, can I be your sidekick?" -April "What?" -Grace "The Dynamic Duo!" -April "Um, I'm pretty… — Bree Despain Copy Share Image
I like having a beard. What's funny is when you shave a beard, you realize how freezing cold your face is! The… — Adam Scott Copy Share Image
