Funny Quotes · Page 98

I am never less alone than when alone.

— Marcus Tullius Cicero

Bite off more than you can chew, then keep chewing.

— Joe De Sena

Finishing a blue popsicle dad

— Maegan<3

If dreaming is free, then making it come true is, too.

— Miyavi

A good motto to live by: "Always try not to get killed.

— George Carlin

An early taste of death is not necessarily a bad thing.

— Charles Bukowski

We Learn about love by loving.

— Paulo Coelho

You are the imagination of yourself.

— Bill Hicks

I Twitter quite a bit, and try to send out some funny stories.

— Lil Jon

That’s the funny thing about knowing you can’t have something. It makes you desperate. -Leah

— Stephenie Meyer

I'm really good at keeping secrets because five minutes later I forget what you told me because I don't care.

— Anonymous

I like doing a funny show where I don't have to act and fall in love with a girl.

— Norm MacDonald

A lot of actors talk about doing their homework, but very few of them do it.

— Tony Scott

It's a funny habit to write encyclopedia entries. It's not a mass taste.

— Sue Gardner

Something is going on everywhere, most of which no one understands.

— Janet Morris

The brilliance of Adam Scott is that he is so damn funny in a straight man role.

— Rob Thomas

“She's in the Catskill," Shopie began, but Scathach reached over and pinched her hand. "Ouch!" I just wanted to distract you," Scathach…

— Michael Scott

Some BOY's hold their Girlfriend's hand in malls Bcoz if they leave her hand she'll start shopping.. It looks Romantic but actually…

— Unkown

By nature, I am a materialist... It is exactly these impingements upon our sense of touch and so forth that I'm interested…

— Carl Andre

My knowledge of the universe is that if I write stupid jokes, the universe gives me a really nice house and great…

— Joel Klein

Truly love you endlessly. Every day without you is like a book without pages. I love you, I will always do, for…

— F Abahusain

They seal the subway change-booth guy up inside this thing with bullet-proof glass, closed in on all sides, it's like some kind…

— Jerry Seinfeld

I love Kate Moss. I've worked with her a couple of times, and she is a great girl, really funny and easy…

— Twiggy

“Is this why you think you are chosen by God, because only you can understand the funnies that you make about yourself?”

— Jonathan Safran Foer

I was curious what would happen,

— Hannibal

“Snarl must love Christmas as much as me, I decided.”

— Rachel Cohn, David Levithan

Better pointed bullets than pointed words.

— Otto von Bismarck

The sounds of anger are not melodic.

— John Lydon

If you don't know how, why pretend?

— Huang E

Like a lipstick you put that red mark on me.

— Joanne Lobedica

Naked dudes are inherently funny.

— Adam DeVine

The age of discretion is the age of impotence.

— Anonymous

As our inclinations, so our opinions.

— Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Justin Beiber? I didn't know I had a little sister.

— Nikhil Saluja

My Birth may be normal but my Death should be History!!

— Nikhil Saluja

But I wouldn't call myself sadistic.

— Sean Connery

A stunner…reminds me of Tom Clancy at his finest.

— James Rollins

If you love something, the work will be just fine.

— Herbert Matter

Those Cute Texts You Get Ramdomly

— Anonymous

Home: where I can look ugly and enjoy it.

— Anonymous