Funny, how moms can tell you what to do no matter how old or big you are. — Gabrielle Reece Copy Share Image
I smile because you're my Mother. I laugh because there's nothing you can do about it. Happy Mom's Day! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The grass is greener on the other side, because that's where the dog has been shitting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you look very intensely and slowly things will happen that you never dreamed of before. — Aaron Siskind Copy Share Image
I think a lot of times on TV we see caricatures - that's what's funny. — Mayim Bialik Copy Share Image
One of the greatest titles we can have is old friend. We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are… — Grant Fairley Copy Share Image
People think [baseball players] make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000. — Pete Incaviglia Copy Share Image
'Matilda' is my favorite movie of all time. It's so funny. It's about this girl who's so independent and smart, and she… — Storm Reid Copy Share Image
A reputation takes years and years and years to build, and it takes one press of a button to ruin it. Don't… — J. J. Watt Copy Share Image
Meeting people at the bar is like going to the grocery store when your hungry - you bring home sh*t you don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't resent at all people saying, 'Oh, he's like a sweetheart'... but within comedy, it's a very funny way to talk… — Josh Gondelman Copy Share Image
This ain't Facebook... It's More like fuckbook... Sneakbook... Try to cheat n creepbook... lookbook... I don't like that hoe but I'm gone… — Bonita Bryant Morris Copy Share Image
“Have you ever or are you now involved in espionage or sabotage, or in terrorist activities, or genocide? I think we can… — Claire North Copy Share Image
Angling is extremely time consuming. That's sort of the whole point. — Thomas McGuane Copy Share Image
Just wanted to congratulate myself on sitting through your graduation ceremony. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God has really blessed me. He could've allowed me to keep playing, but instead he saved my life. — Isaiah Austin Copy Share Image
May your Hanukkah prayers not be drowned out by incessant Christmas music. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If aliens saw us walking our dogs and picking up their poop, who would they think is in charge? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“We seldom look up to the person; we usually look up to their persona.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Don't pretend to be what you are not. Don't refuse to be what you are. — Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj Copy Share Image
If I'm wearing a top, I don't wear a bra. If I'm wearing a bra, I just wear a bra. — Rihanna Copy Share Image
Don't always go for the guys who can sweep you off your feet. They can drop you on your ass just as… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Like funny men, skilled diners are apparently perceived to have an evolutionary advantage. — Dana Goodyear Copy Share Image
Actually, you’re not famous at all. Maybe you’ll get some traction after you’re dead? — Peter Orner Copy Share Image
LOVE, A strange feeling that comes over a man -- when he keeps wanting to call a girl by his last name; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
People are funny you don't even know about the shit that I been through. ~~~ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I went to college at the University of Kansas, where I got a degree in political science. — Sara Paretsky Copy Share Image
I am a showman by profession... and all the gilding shall make nothing else of me. — P. T. Barnum Copy Share Image
If you're funny as a woman, people think it might be because someone else helped you. — Alice Lowe Copy Share Image
![“People think [baseball players] make $3 million and $4 million a year. They don't realize that most of us only make $500,000.” quote by Pete Incaviglia](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/4b4/pete-incaviglia-269189_ball-player_people-think-baseball-players-make-3-mil_359447.png)
