What would bug a guy from the Taliban more than seeing a gay woman in a suit surrounded by Jews? — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
People have been asking me if I was going to have kids, and I had puppies instead. — Kate Jackson Copy Share Image
We think our fathers fools, so wise we grow. Our wiser sons, no doubt will think us so. — Alexander Pope Copy Share Image
It follows that unless your headline sells your product, you have wasted 90 percent of your money... — David Ogilvy Copy Share Image
When we hold a World Championship for a particular sport, we invite teams from other countries to play as well. — John Cleese Copy Share Image
Don't Take It Seriously * When the HAIRDRESSER says, Do you want it teased or blown? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
We worship not the Graces, nor the Parcae, but Fashion. She spins and weaves and cuts with full authority. The head monkey… — Henry David Thoreau Copy Share Image
“Then, almost as an afterthought, she turned and locked the bathroom door. If he thought he was going to seduce her, make… — Maggie Shayne Copy Share Image
My friends say I make them laugh a lot, so I think that somewhere in me is a little comedic ability that… — Selenis Leyva Copy Share Image
“Whoa. Not too stiff," Cody said. "Secure, strong, but calm. Like you're caressing a beautiful woman, remember?" That made me think of… — Brandon Sanderson Copy Share Image
“Please, comrade! I just want to chop him up for the stew!' 'And that's another thing! I'm tired of stew! I want… — Jeff Smith Copy Share Image
I particularly like Twitter, because it's short and can be very funny and informative. It's a little bit like having your own… — Margaret Atwood Copy Share Image
Roses aer red viloets are blue he's for me not for you and if by chance you take my place ill take… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Everyone makes mistakes but only ur girlfriends, wife & boss have the gifted talent of finding, remembering and reminding it to you.. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
When your girl is on her period, she will become the devil, just shut up, agree and tell her she is gorgeous. — Brian Wright Copy Share Image
Me without you would be like Facebook without friends, YouTube without videos And Google with no results... — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
If strippers are called dancers, then drug dealers should be called pharmacists. — Jewelizeemint Deelouviou Copy Share Image
Look, tennis is a funny sport. I always try to do my best and play as best as I can. — Bernard Tomic Copy Share Image
I'd never join a club that would allow a person like me to become a member. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
The less Holy Spirit we have, the more cake and coffee we need to keep the church going. — Reinhard Bonnke Copy Share Image
Happy Thanksgiving to someone I'd have no problem stomping to death on Black Friday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My insomnia is so bad that even when I do sleep I dream about lying awake. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope you get into all the classes you're planning to drop when they require too much work. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You see, dear, it is not true that woman was made from man's rib; she was made from his funny bone. — James M. Barrie Copy Share Image
Travelling is good for your health and necessary for your amusement. — Thomas Jefferson Copy Share Image
That Moment When You're Having One Of The Moments You See In Romance Movies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Labor Day is a great opportunity to reflect on what you failed to accomplish this summer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for… — Demetri Martin Copy Share Image
