Large like the Beatles, ask all my peoples, never make movies, so don't talk sequels. — Pete Rock Copy Share Image
I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead. — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
Do not crush the flowers of wisdom with the hobnail boots of cynicism. — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
You don’t have to have a boyfriend to be happy, to be pretty, or belong. — Louise Brealey Copy Share Image
“My Date was waiting for me at the kitchen door, ears perked, tail wagging and bits of wicker clinging to his nose… — Sammi Carter Copy Share Image
Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I feel strange when I get applauded by people in power... because it's obvious that it's them I'm criticizing, but they can't… — Greta Thunburg Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when youre playing with your pen in class and suddenly it flys across the room and everyone stares at… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The fact that the person who you are sleeping with is also sleeping with another person or other people does not necessarily… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“Can I buy you an ice cream beforeI take you home? I feel like it’s the least I can do after scaring… — Tamara Summers Copy Share Image
I don't understand those couples that fight and a minute later change their Facebook status to Single. I fight with my parents… — Shennon Fabiano Copy Share Image
“Some of the men were dressed like Peter and wore red plaid hunting jackets or bulky tan Carhartt jackets or lined flannel… — Brock Clarke Copy Share Image
Ofcourse gay men dress well... They didn't spend all that time in the closet doing nothing — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Not everyone is going to like you and you are not going to like everyone. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When I have a daughter, I shall name her Stacy. So I will be Stacy's mom thats got it goin' on. :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You cannot have exterior development without interior development to hold it in place. — Ken Wilber Copy Share Image
Few things are more disappointing than a hot new coworker who is wearing a wedding ring. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You’re so full of shit, if you ever had an enema you’d evaporate into thin air.” — Catherine Doyle Copy Share Image
It's nice being liked for playing the nice guy, but it's also fun to be the funny one. — Matt McGorry Copy Share Image
I think people are surprised to learn that I'm pretty goofy and pretty funny. — Susan Egan Copy Share Image
It will work out, somehow. That's a hell of a duo right there, Marbury, Crawford and Houston. — Carmelo Anthony Copy Share Image
You:I didn't do it Person:Then why are you laughing? You:Cause, whoever did it is a freaking genius — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Credentialing, not education, has become the primary business of North American universities. — Jane Jacobs Copy Share Image
The afflictions to which we are accustomed, do not disturb us. — Claudius Claudianus Copy Share Image
Twitter is currently valued at $8 billion, or $1 for every hour it has wasted. — Andy Borowitz Copy Share Image
“Well, the truth is that his mother had six miscarriages, and three of them survived.” — Oscar O'Rourke Copy Share Image
Changing and inventing new things is great. That's what we like to do. — Anthony Kiedis Copy Share Image
You don't have to know what to say or what to do; just listen to the one who sent you. — Craig Groeschel Copy Share Image
What's really funny about being National Youth Poet Laureate is that not everyone even knows it exists. — Amanda Gorman Copy Share Image
