I think I have a good sense of humor, but I don't consider myself funny. — Da'Vine Joy Randolph Copy Share Image
We must alter theory to adapt it to nature, but not nature to adapt it to theory. — Claude Bernard Copy Share Image
A man who is an enemy of the bride doesn't speak well of the wedding. — Vikrant Parsai Copy Share Image
Follow your dreams ...except that one where you're naked in Neighbor's room! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
You don’t need to be a completely complete human right now … That’s what makes you human. — Tavi Gevinson Copy Share Image
“For the hackneyed art of lying without injury to anyone, Rushbrook, to his shame, was proficient.” — Elizabeth Inchbald Copy Share Image
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the Like button. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get… — Amy Childs Copy Share Image
I think the way women are perceived on Instagram is that you have to be hot, but it also has to be… — Rachel Sennott Copy Share Image
Paul Lucas had a particularly amusing accent, so I chuckled. That was terrible; I shouldn't have done that, but he took it… — Fay Wray Copy Share Image
“The two keys to success as a sportswriter are: 1) A blind willingness to believe anything you're told by the coaches, flacks,… — Hunter S. Thompson Copy Share Image
I'm afraid that, in this chapter we must talk about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Assad whistled a few notes of one of his native country's melancholic songs. It sounded as though he was whistling backwards” — Jussi Adler-Olsen Copy Share Image
Life doesn't make any sense, and we all pretend it does. Comedy's job is to point out that it doesn't make sense,… — Eric Idle Copy Share Image
What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? 'Hold my purse'. — Francois Morency Copy Share Image
Woman say:I JUST DON'T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW. Woman means:I just don't want YOU as a boyfriend now. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
It (the Bible) has never bowed its head before the discoveries of science. — Billy Graham Copy Share Image
Best friends don't judge each other, they get together and judge everybody else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Cellphones are like a dog's nipples. You don't have to shout into them! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Marry and make a woman happy OR remain a bachelor and make several women happy! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Think of it! A second chamber selected by the Whips. A seraglio of eunuchs. — Michael Foot Copy Share Image
There is only one good. And that is to act according to the dictates of one's conscience. — Simone de Beauvoir Copy Share Image
“I'm not saying he was, like, crying tears of man pain over the phone, but he sounded upset.” — Hannah Harrington Copy Share Image
When you fall in love, you want the world to know it, but you dont want to admit it. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
If you aren't sure which way to do something, do it both ways and see which works better. — John Carmack Copy Share Image
We are secure, not because we hold tightly to Jesus, but because He holds tightly to us. — R. C. Sproul Copy Share Image
I have always been in a relationship. I don't remember the time when I wasn't in one — Kareena Kapoor Copy Share Image
Fate has it in for me to be an exhibit: that funny old lady from the telly. — Mary Beard Copy Share Image
If your diet soda has zero calories, zero sugar and zero fat, what the hell are you drinking? — Shubham Joshi Copy Share Image
When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; Im beginning to believe it. — Clarence Darrow Copy Share Image
