You are always free to choose what you do first, what you do second, and what you do not do at all — Brian Tracy Copy Share Image
Let's commemorate our departed WWII veterans by eating German frankfurters and Italian sausages. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The cat is in the sack, but the sack is not closed. The cat is in it, but it's open...and it's a… — Giovanni Trapattoni Copy Share Image
Want the most simple cure for childhood obesity? Ice cream trucks that don't stop. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I act, I act. When I sing, I sing. I don't put one over the other. Entertaining is what I do… — Irene Cara Copy Share Image
Tell Ray to put the eyeliner, the lipstick and the high heels away. I'm not saying he's a cross-dresser, that's just what… — Shannon Sharpe Copy Share Image
... Variety and the Hollywood Reporter, two publications read more faithfully in Hollywood than the Koran is in Mecca. — Jack Paar Copy Share Image
“Why me?" I blurted out, and then closed my eyes briefly. "Okay. Don't answer that." The food arrived just then一thank God一and the… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
To buy books would be a good thing if we could also buy the time to read them; but the purchase of… — Arthur Schopenhauer Copy Share Image
Youre a woman whos been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten your brakes, but youll have to… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
“We were at the White House a couple of weeks ago," the man says, "they had a state dinner for Prince Charles… — Ben Fountain Copy Share Image
If u drink 5 glasses of milk it makes you stronger,I drank 5 and I couldn't move the wall,but if you drink… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's just so funny that when I was growing up, I was very much of an Australian. I just thought it was… — Catriona Gray Copy Share Image
The shortest scary story ever: The last man on Earth sat in a room. There was a knock at the door. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
The problem is that as much as I cant force you to love me, I cant force myself to stop loving you. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I shouldn't have driven home from the bar last night...especially since I walked there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Mother's Day to a mom who shouldn't assume my graduation means the end of my financial dependency. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Don't fall for lines like, God protects his servants in the clergy from harm. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
One minute of kissing burns 26 calories,no wonder those sluts are damn skinny. — Carlos Banks Copy Share Image
Speramus Meliora; Resurget Cineribus: We hope for better things; it shall rise from the ashes. — Charlie LeDuff Copy Share Image
You are the sum total of your dominating or most prominent thoughts. — Napoleon Hill Copy Share Image
Death is there to keep us honest and constantly remind us we are free. — Dan Fogelberg Copy Share Image
They are achieving nothing, they are suffering from casualties. Those casualties are increasing, not decreasing — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
Jake Johnson wanted to make clear that he was the great American actor, not just the funny guy on 'New Girl.' — Colin Trevorrow Copy Share Image
It's better to become who God created you to be than to try to promote yourself to become something you're not. — Joel Osteen Copy Share Image
Comedians don't laugh. They're too busy analyzing why it's funny or not. — James Lipton Copy Share Image
I'm bi-lots of things but lingual isn't one of them. Wait, did I mean to say that? — Triple H Copy Share Image
What's the trick to writing a genuinely funny comedy? The trick is therapy. Take notes. — Lake Bell Copy Share Image
Why was it that they could never shout like that about something that mattered? — George Orwell Copy Share Image
Mike Caldwell, the Padres' right-handed southpaw, will pitch tonight. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
If u smile when things go wrong its because you already found someone to blame it on — 13 Yearold Copy Share Image
Choosing is existence. To the extent that you don't choose, you don't exist, — John Barth Copy Share Image
If your business is not on the Internet, then your business will be out of business. — Bill Gates Copy Share Image
