“Put me down, I’m too heavy.” “You’re small enough to fit in my pocket.” — Sarah Mayberry Copy Share Image
A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested; it's me. — Jen Kirkman Copy Share Image
Niggas tried to holla, but couldn't holla back Now they gots to swallow, everything in the sack. — DMX Copy Share Image
I was a bank teller. That was a great job. I was bringing home $450,000 a week. — Joel Lindley Copy Share Image
HEY , I just met you. And this is crazy , but you're a douchebag. Can you change that maybe? — Jaylon Hillsman Copy Share Image
“Thirty-four, still undecided on a name, sat practicing his Realm tongue with Draker, although much of the lesson seemed to consist of… — Anthony Ryan Copy Share Image
Life is funny and we are really funny, especially when we get to be hoity toity; we can be so ridiculous. Life… — Desmond Tutu Copy Share Image
“Who wears masks?’ ‘Bank robbers?’ ‘No.’ ‘Really ugly people?’ ‘No.’ ‘Halloween? People wear masks at Halloween.’ ‘Yes! They do!’ He flung his… — Neil Gaiman Copy Share Image
The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I never thought, 'I'm going to learn how to be funny now!,' and I'm still surprised when other people think I'm funny.… — Lisa Hanawalt Copy Share Image
I can't decide whether I'm a good girl wrapped up in a bad girl, or if I'm a bad girl wrapped up… — C. JoyBell C Copy Share Image
The favorite to win the Olympic gold medal in archery is a legally blind athlete from South Korea, mainly because everyone else… — Jimmy Fallon Copy Share Image
I truly think comedy is - being funny is DNA. My dad was a doctor, a wonderful doctor, and people still come… — Joan Rivers Copy Share Image
