I'm affectionately known by Elton John as either Sylvia Disc or the Bionic Christian. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A brick could be used as a frame for a door, and the blanket could be used as the door.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
Domino's Pizza: 'Now made with real cheese!' Me: What the fuck did you use before!? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Doing is better than not doing, and if you do something badly you'll learn to do it better. — Twyla Tharp Copy Share Image
The NFL lockout is inspiring me to follow my dream of finding new ways to avoid spending time with my family. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Television has brought back murder into the home - where it belongs. — Alfred Hitchcock Copy Share Image
He's funny. he's adorable.he's sweet. he's loving. he's awkward. he's beautiful.he's awsome. he PERFECT!i didnt say a name but he popped into… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There's something innately funny and warm about being Jewish. I think it's something to be embraced and respected. — Ari Graynor Copy Share Image
Beige flags are qualities you notice about someone who you spend a lot of time with. They are the distinct, even funny… — Brett Cooper Copy Share Image
You know those guys that go to the strip club at the daytime? If you're at a strip club, and the sun… — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
When you open the elevator on the top floor of a building and the other guy doesn't get out, something is seriously… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Ancient Chinese proverb,” he said, heading toward the kitchen. “He who butt-fucks all night wakes up with sore asshole.” — Brad Boney Copy Share Image
I have a confession to make ever since I met u its been hard for me to 4get u every night I… — A Josland Copy Share Image
I do quite like sightseeing. I like churches, museums, galleries and all that stuff. I love the smell of a church in… — Ashley Jensen Copy Share Image
