Don't bother putting your hand over my mouth to shut me up. I will lick you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say the recipe for Sprite is lemon and lime. I tried to make it at home. There's more to it than… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“Seriously, it's like watching mild porn, watching you two eye fuck each other every two seconds.” — Jessica Sorensen Copy Share Image
If you can't be the reason behind her smile, at least be the reason she walks funny for a while! — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“Glad to know the disturbed apple doesn't fall too far from the crazy tree.” — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
I'm impressed you found something even gayer than the Gay Pride Parade to do this weekend. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The Threarah doesn't like anything he hasn't thought of for himself. — Richard Adams Copy Share Image
I don't know if you've ever fallen asleep whilst eating a plate of cauliflower, and then woken up, and thought you were… — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when your mom compares you to another kid and she has no idea how much worse they are than… — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
You ask my advice about acting? Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture and if you must have motivation, think of your… — Noel Coward Copy Share Image
A couple had twins - a boy & a girl. In their family, it was the tradition of the father's brother to… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
I am like God and God like me. I am as large as God. He is as small as I. He cannot… — Angelus Silesius Copy Share Image
Looking the way I look, whenever anybody's looking for a light brown funny guy, I get the call... I'm 100 percent Greek,… — Jason Mantzoukas Copy Share Image
It's funny, when you have a theme so particular to cows - or it could be anything like hair or nails -… — Doja Cat Copy Share Image
Dear folks join my new P.E.N.I.S foundation (People Encouraging Niceness In Society). P.E.N.I.S it's not hard unless you make it that way. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
