Outside every fat man there is an even fatter man trying to close in. — Kingsley Amis Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night.. You pretended not to be a three hole punch.” — Amy Summers Copy Share Image
Mosquitos remind us that we are not as high up on the food chain as we think. — Tom Wilson Copy Share Image
It's funny how a chubby kid can just be having fun, and people call it entertainment! — Garth Brooks Copy Share Image
Jack Sparrow: No! Not good! Stop! Not good! What are you doing? You've burned all the food, the shade, the RUM! Elizabeth… — Pirates Of The Carribein Copy Share Image
Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair, must be a pacifist. What's… — Arlo Guthrie Copy Share Image
I went to the airport, I put my bag in the x-ray machine, I found out my bag has cancer. It only… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I think your tendency when you play yourself is to accentuate something about you that you think is the funny thing about… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
So forget about blogs and bloggers and blogging and focus on this - the cost and difficulty of publishing absolutely anything, by… — Clay Shirky Copy Share Image
It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport. — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
The other day a girl wearing a shirt that says I'm just waiting for a better day so I Smooched her &… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My neighbor has two dogs. One of them says to the other, "Woof!" The other replies, "Moo!" The dog is perplexed. "Moo?… — Morey Amsterdam Copy Share Image
![“CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?” quote by Ambrose Bierce](https://sms4smile.com/q/i/57c/ambrose-bierce-140_funny_cui-bono-latin-what-good-would-that-do-m_2275962.jpg)
