Instead of cleaning my house, I just watched an episode of Hoarders. Now I don't feel so bad. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like to be friends with funny guys, but I don't want to date a funny guy. — Brandi Cyrus Copy Share Image
Nothing makes us more cowardly and unconscionable than the desire to be loved by everyone. — Marie von Ebner-Eschenbach Copy Share Image
I'm constantly fighting the angry black woman stigma, the 'You're pretty, you can't be funny' stigma. — Amanda Seales Copy Share Image
And do you know a funny thing? I'm almost fifty years old and I've never understood anything in my whole life. — Richard Yates Copy Share Image
God made every one unique, but when he came to china-COPY-PASTE-COPY-PASTE-COPY-PASTE... — Unknoen Copy Share Image
I look so gross in my pics ew. Then why did you upload 120 pictures in an album called...Me? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So, the point of a Throwback Thursday is for people to post pictures of themselves when they were a child..Uhm so what… — Priscilla Copy Share Image
When I started building things, obviously I was pretty bad at it. You cant be good at it from the start, and… — Simone Giertz Copy Share Image
Let the haters do them, thats their job they get paid nothing in order hate they happy with that job, if you… — Shar-rae Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're actually telling the truth, but you're laughing so everyone thinks you're lying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a song is funny and absurd, and it sounds great, it's just going to be that much funnier. And there's no… — Seth MacFarlane Copy Share Image
I was trying to do one-liners and it took me years to realise I just had to be myself. My fear was… — Michael McIntyre Copy Share Image
“And just before I go to sleep, I'll think of sentences that don't contain words like Hoover, Jogging, and Heart Transplant” — Kirsten Gier Copy Share Image
I'm a - I'm a, um, a godmother which is just, that's fun to be a godmother, she is so precious, she's… — Ellen DeGeneres Copy Share Image
