Funny Quotes · Page 243

Plan your work - work your plan

— B. C. Forbes

If you want a princess, you must first become a prince.

— Ritu Ghatourey

By writing, you learn to write.

— Samuel Johnson

If you can dream it, you can make it so.

— Belva Davis

The audacity to love. Do you know what a gift that is?

— Laini Taylor

Legalize it, and I will advertise it.

— Peter Tosh

Yes Im a bum. But Im a Harvard bum. 'With Honors'

— Anonymous

I didn't fall… the Earth rotated incorrectly.

— Anonymous

You know your child is growing up when he starts looking at girls the same way he used to look at dessert.

— Vikrant Parsai

I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

— Joe E. Lewis

I do not take selfies. I photo bomb my phone while it's taking pictures of itself in the mirror.

— Green Monk

When you change, everything will change for you. When you get better, everything will get better for you.

— Jim Rohn

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the fire department generally uses water.

— Anonymous

“What do you see in him anyway?” “He doesn’t leave the toilet seat up.” I smiled bitterly”

— Jayde Scott

I have learned that pleasing everyone is too hard, but pissing everyone off is a piece of cake.

— Punkinhead Abhishek

Remember this: The house doesn't beat the player. It just gives him the opportunity to beat himself.

— Nick Dandolos

Maybe the reason why so many girls are not looking for a boyfriend anymore, but rather a girlfriend is because all the…

— Rachel

“He'd make her work so hard that a job as a cardboard-box presser at the margerine factory would seem like paradise.”

— Jussi Adler-Olsen

Im a man of my word so trust me when I tell u that your beautiful then in my eyes your the…

— Luke Collins

I was flying with my brother, and he challenged me to work out on the airplane. He thought it was funny -…

— Izabel Goulart

You call me a bit*h? Well a bit*h is a dog, Dogs bark, Bark is on trees, Trees are nature, Nature is…

— Anonymous

Actually, for me, it's really funny because I play characters with mommy issues more than anything, and I have a great relationship…

— Danielle Macdonald

A beautiful vacuum filled with wealthy monogamists, all powerful and members of the best families all drinking themselves to death.

— Ernest Hemingway

A big part of becoming a funny person was a major defense mechanism. Onstage, especially as a woman, I've had to be…

— Amy Schumer

What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.

— Denis Leary

I wasn't trying to be anything. I was just myself.

— Bettie Page

Seek passion, seek passion, seek passion!

— Rumi

My biggest strength is that no one can read my forehand

— Sania Mirza

I did what I knew.. when I knew better, I did better

— Maya Angelou

Trust the gifts that God has placed within you.

— DeVon Franklin

Do you like me? Breathe for yes,lick your elbow for no.

— Anonymous

You have to be possessive about who you love

— Sushant Singh Rajput

My subordinates followed my orders.

— Jorge Rafael Videla

Life would be so much better if I went to Hogwarts.

— Anonymous

Bold botches are to be cherished.

— Tom Peters

A ponytail will make you look like a horse's ass.

— Green Monk

Nothing in nature takes more than what it needs

— Tom Shadyac

Are you a clock? Cause you're ticking me off...

— Green Monk

Stop stewing and start doing!

— Denis Waitley

The coop is guarded from the inside.

— Aravind Adiga