My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
My view is that Washington and the regulators are there to serve the banks. — Spencer Bachus Copy Share Image
Dad, I promise to one day give you grandchildren who annoy me as much as I annoyed you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Goodness, what beautiful diamonds!' 'Goodness had nothing to do with it'. — Mae West Copy Share Image
'I Love My Wife' bumper stickers are strictly for men who were caught cheating. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People often can't separate, or can't understand, that to be funny is to be serious; it's a way of pulling people in… — Nick Cave Copy Share Image
Why don't they allow professional wrestling at the Olympics? They allow pro basketball players and hockey players. Olympic pro wrestling would be… — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
“An old man with overalls walked by; I don't think old people should wear overalls; it makes them look like shrivelly toddlers.” — Aimee Bender Copy Share Image
Macro humor is just a person being themselves in a situation, saying whatever they're going to say, and it's funny because of… — Susanna Fogel Copy Share Image
It was always a fantasy of mine growing up - my favorite program was always 'Little House on the Prairie' - so… — Chloe Sevigny Copy Share Image
The British are proud of their ability to create a muddle and then muddle through all difficulties. I must shake the British… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
The simulacrum is never that which conceals the truth--it is the truth which conceals that there is none. The simulacrum is true. — Jean Baudrillard Copy Share Image
My size has helped make me an amazing performer too. The cliche of the Funny Fat Friend: I absolutely was that character… — Beth Ditto Copy Share Image
