ProTip: Tell a girl she has nice lips and shell suck your dick right then and there. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've always maintained that people that are funny and smart can do anything in film. — Jeff Baena Copy Share Image
If it's inappropriate to write about, if there's nothing funny about it, then it's not funny. — Calvin Trillin Copy Share Image
Beware of bartering the Word of God for a more suitable conception of your own. — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
If you're considered a beauty, it's hard to be accepted doing anything but standing around. — Cybill Shepherd Copy Share Image
The council in Blackpool have given the homeless bus passes, but how would they know where to get off? — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
Your Ex asking to be friends after breaking up is like Kidnappers asking to keep in touch after letting you go. — Vicky Copy Share Image
Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Follow your instincts. Do the kind of writing you love to do and do best. 'Stiff' was an oddball book - I… — Mary Roach Copy Share Image
After my first semester in law school, I'm seriously considering suing Santa for breaking and entering. I hate the holidays... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
At the mall: I won't buy anything. I'm saving up *spots an awesome shirt* Oh! I have to buy that. I don't… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I think about Plastic Man, he was genuinely the first funny super hero. I'm obviously attracted to that. There's also this… — Gail Simone Copy Share Image
“He'll have that scar forever." "Couldn't you do something about it, Dumbledore?" "Even if I could, I wouldn't. Scars can come in… — J. K. Rowling Copy Share Image
“A text pops up on the screen. It’s from Luis. I can’t help but grin when I read his perfectly thought-out message.… — Simone Elkeles Copy Share Image
For a country that makes such a fuss about love on the 14th of February, America has a funny way of showing… — Amanda Foreman Copy Share Image
If Diane Modahl was 40 times over the testosterone limit she'd have a deep voice and we'd all be calling her Barry White. — Tony Jarrett Copy Share Image
