Did you know you can have an Irish abortion, but there is a 12 month waiting list? — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
Brought up to respect the conventions, love had to end in marriage. I'm afraid it did. — Bette Davis Copy Share Image
Babies are always more trouble than you thought and more wonderful. — Charles Osgood Copy Share Image
I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Throw all caution to the wind, today, on your 40th No need to have wisdom and sage But tomorrow, as you start… — John Walter Bratton Copy Share Image
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
The National Association of Theater Concessionaires reported that in 1986, 60% of all candy sold in movie theaters was sold to Roger Ebert. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I've been naked in a lot of my movies. There's something inherently funny about the naked male body, particularly mine. — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
U r a nice person¦ but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning¦ 1st. pray to God so that u… — A Josland Copy Share Image
“The big knight fell heavily to the ground, and lay there, as nearly dead as possible. His servants came running from the… — Roger Lancelyn Green Copy Share Image
I thought I'd go to a craft fair, and there would be a jar of jellybeans there - "Guess how many jellybeans… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
