If you have a character that doesn't have anything wrong with him, there's nothing funny about it. — Will Arnett Copy Share Image
Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What if there was a notification that said, your crush is viewing your profile now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My car broke down just the other day, I called triple A, they came and towed me away! — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
It's comforting that even the Pope has an overwhelming urge to quit his job on Mondays. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Comparison of two sayings : Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try… — Ali Yar Khan Copy Share Image
Please figure this out and get back to me asap even though it would take me less time to do it myself… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Lying in bed in the middle of the night trying to decide if its worth it to get up and pee or… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Eyebrows are really important because they structure the face. In school it was funny because I was always the one walking around… — Rita Ora Copy Share Image
Females need to search for a man with goals and ambition because 10 years from now swag isnt gonna pay your bills . — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“...I'm worried I will leave grad school and no longer be able to speak English. I know this woman in grad school,… — Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Copy Share Image
My gurl not allowed 2 mail off letters...wtf she lick'N a envelopes fo...my dick da only thang she should b lick'N — IG:catone_2_funny Copy Share Image
I definitely have had a couple of years where I've been working constantly, but it never goes away, that worry that you'll… — Chloe Pirrie Copy Share Image
