Humor Quote by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

““Who the hell is that?! Some call her Satan. Others, Beelzebub. She goes by many names.””

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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Humor Romance Sarcasm

More by Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Okay, so I'll admit I'm curious. Big deal. We both know what that leads to. Dead cat.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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...I have to tell you that I'm not all that comfortable with the idea of spending the rest of my life sleeping next to somebody who's got the power to fire me if my underwear doesn't make it all the way to the hamper." She repressed a smile. "I'm sympathetic to your problem, but I'm not selling the team just…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Life sure is easier when you're rich." "And a natural born charmer. Don't forget that part." "How could I?" she retorted. "It's the only…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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For a moment he could have sworn he smelled violets, which was very peculiar, since he had no idea what violets smelled like, except…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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“You're not my matchmaker any longer. But we're still friends, and in the interest of our friendship we need to discuss page thirteen." "Page…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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The final cover for 'Heroes Are My Weakness' feels exactly right. It reflects the cold, wintry setting of an isolated island off the coast…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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“People will always try to steal your power. When you do well, they’ll say it’s only because you’re rich and your parents are big shots. People who care about you will try to steal your power, too, but they’ll go about it differently. When you fail at something, they’ll try to make you feel better by saying that nobody’s good…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

You remind me of someone with a bad toothache who's hitting herself in the head with a hammer to distract herself from the pain…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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“And Eth couldn't help looking. It's been years since he's seen a beautiful naked woman in the flesh. I'd be worried about him if he hadn't looked." "He's a minister!" "It was a blessed event. You sure you don't want me to hang that robe up?" "You're making a joke out of this." "Absolutely not. Only an insensitive jerk would…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

“As she gazed into those cool blue eyes, something strange happened in the vicinity of her middle. She suddenly felt like a hungry woman who had just been presented with a tempting dessert. Her moment of sensory weakness embarrassed her, and she frowned. "Damn, you're pretty," Dallie said softly. "Not half as pretty as you," she snapped, determined to squash…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

Something brushed his leg, and he gazed down into the face of Pippi Tucker. The theme from Jaws raced through his head.

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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“Did you eat my Twinkies?" She gulped. Keeping her eyes glued to the whip, she said, "Exactly what Twinkies are we talking about?" "The…

Susan Elizabeth Phillips

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'Mad TV' is one of my most favorite shows of all time and is a huge part of my obsession with sketch comedy.

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When you step out and do a song in a musical, the easier thing to do is make it funny. But when those transitions…

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Joking about violence is not funny.

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In my opinion, sexiness comes down to three things: chemistry, sense of humor, and treatment of waitstaff at restaurants.

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“...I haven't guessed where your shirt is from yet Bane, but I don't think it'll matter once it's underwater!' Tristan looked at Bane questioningly. Bane rolled his eyes and stage whispered: 'She asked why I cared so much about getting her dirty, teary face all my new shirt earlier, and asked where I got it from anyway. I said: 'Guess',…

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“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”

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“Not wise, perhaps, to be rude to the Pope's favorite son, but my viper tongue still required a fool now and then on which…

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In the future, I would like to do more films with contemporary themes. Perhaps comedy, which is something I have done in theater but…

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“[S]ometimes, when you are a food person, the possible irrelevance of what you are doing doesn’t cross your mind until it’s too late. (Once, for example, when I was just starting out in the food business, I was hired by the caper people to develop a lot of recipes using capers, and it was weeks of tossing capers into just…

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