Changed Quote by Steven Wright Download Open image ““The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.”” — Steven Wright ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ 4.5 out of 5 (6 ratings) Copy quoteShare Changed Eight Funny Humor Items Names Said
“The other four houses yielded jewelry, wallets, credit cards, laptops, iPads and Kindles, even a couple of expensive looking vases.... "You didn't do anything… — Orson Scott Card Copy Share Image
“...by the time you've finished naming a thing, it has already changed and the name you gave it no longer defines it exactly...” — Joann Sfar Copy Share Image
At one time my name was on 50 or 60 different items, from dolls to pencil boxes. — Jackie Coogan Copy Share Image
“I mean, I started out with nothing, son, except that old boat that your grandad left me, but—” “—you worked and scraped—” said Les… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
When I sign books, I get lines of people and what they usually say is: "Thank you. You have changed my life." I am… — Richard Dawkins Copy Share Image
“Evan, what's your sign?' 'Right about now, I'm thinking Proceed with Caution." I'm not kidding.” — S.E. Hall Copy Share Image
My dental hygienist is cute. Every time I visit, I eat a whole package of Oreo cookies while waiting in the lobby. Sometimes she… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Nobody can really compare a relationship in which the victim is 15 years old to one where she's 6. While both criminal, they're very different circumstances. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
It's very intense to be in front of a live audience. It's just an amazing experience. It's dangerous. Everything out there is heightened. The… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I got pulled over by a cop, and he said, 'do you know the speed limit here is 55 miles per hour?'. So I… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Babies don't need a vacation, but I still see them at the beach... it pisses me off! I'll go over to a little baby… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.” — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
When I'm on stage, it's really intense. My mind is going a million miles an hour, trying to remember my act, trying to say… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
I don't like politicians, and I don't like politics. I definitely don't want to be associated with any of them. — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
Next came the Patent laws. These began in England in 1624; and, in this country, with the adoption of our constitution. Before then [these?],… — Abraham Lincoln Copy Share Image
Faith is the avenue to salvation. Not intellectual understanding. Not money. Not your works. Just simple faith. How much faith? The faith of a… — Billy Graham Copy Share Image
When I became Miss World, I couldn't believe I had won it. I used to sleep with my crown because I was scared someone… — Priyanka Chopra Copy Share Image
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Forgetting your Self is the greatest injury; all the calamities flow from it. Take care of the most important, the lesser will take care… — Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj Copy Share Image
Good people are found not changed. Recently I read a headline that said, 'We don't teach people to be nice. We simply hire nice… — Jim Rohn Copy Share Image
I began with small roles in successful movies like 'No Country For Old Men' by the Coen brothers; but it was 'The Last Exorcism'… — Caleb Landry Jones Copy Share Image
