Able Quote by Jon Stewart

“Ahh, Earth Day, the only day of the year where being able to hacky-sack will get you laid.”

Jon Stewart

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More by Jon Stewart

Clearly, I'm way older than everyone.

Jon Stewart

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I don't know how people feel,that's the beauty of TV, is they can see us, but we can't see them.

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I don't think marijuana should be illegal.

Jon Stewart

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I reject the idea there are just two sides. I think that with the amount of ideas and thoughts there are, it's not even…

Jon Stewart

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Megachurches. I can't be the only one frightened when our houses of worship sound like they could take on Godzilla.

Jon Stewart

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While opponents label (Howard) Dean a throwback liberal, The New York Times recently noted that as governor, Dean cut income taxes, reformed welfare and…

Jon Stewart

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You just have to keep trying to do good work, and hope that it leads to more good work. I want to look back…

Jon Stewart

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You know, in Saudi Arabia, you're innocent until proven Jewish. Female. Guilty! They're guilty!

Jon Stewart

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The unfortunate, yet truly exciting thing about your life, is that there is no core curriculum. The entire place is an elective.

Jon Stewart

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A guy who says what people who aren't thinking are thinking.

Jon Stewart

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Do you guys have to sell everything? I'd like to buy the Earth's core.

Jon Stewart

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Christmas and the New Year are actually two holidays. So there is a plural, which in the English language, necessitates the use of 's.'…

Jon Stewart

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I have that need in me, I want everyone to love me, but I'm embarrassed by that need, so I wanted to cover it…

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I wanted to remember in order to be able to return.

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Government schools, with your tax money, now discourage the teaching of multiplication tables by rote memorization but teach reading by the 'look-and-say' method which…

Greg Perry